I refuse to let my socially awkward colleague turn off any lights until after I have left the office. I’m scared of the dork… #LunchPun

I was given a conditional offer to study the removal of cat hair at University, but I decided to defur… #LunchPun

I'm off to Asda with all my timepieces, as i've heard that there clocks have to go back today. #LunchPun

I love LL Cool J’s song about his love of Morris Dancing. 🎵They’re jingling baby🎵 #LunchPun

My desire to do the ironing has de-creased. #LunchPun

Wanna go to a steakhouse? Meat two! #LunchPun

I think you’ll enjoy my song about a faulty door. It has a lovely key change. #LunchPun

The funniest rapper in the world? LOL Cool J. Although, I’d say his brother ROFL Cool J is just as funny. #LunchPun

I’m going on a European tour with Metallica. Our first stop? 🎵We’re off to Nether-Netherlands🎵 #LunchPun

The 3 main football teams from Birmingham have been pestering me to support them, and I’ve finally caved in and chosen West Brom. That should keep the Wolves from the door. #LunchPun

If anyone wants more Australian hats, I have more outback… #LunchPun

If you are sacked while working on a bridge between England and Wales, should you get any Severns pay? #LunchPun

Since being elected, my main role at Church is to make the hot drinks after playing “Dignity” on the Church organ. It’s deacon’s brew. #LunchPun

I learned how to make savoury tarts early on in my schooldays. It was in Quiche Stage 1. #LunchPun

The first masked driver on Top Gear was a Dinosaur. It was the Stigosaurus. #LunchPun

I was addicted to stealing small batteries, but I’ve given up since attending AAA meetings. #LunchPun

I enjoy playing Wordle while running around in the nude. I’m on a 13-day winning streak. #LunchPun

Have I discovered how to activate my cowboy AI assistant? Yes Siree! #LunchPun