Sutton (@Stokes) profile picture

Sutton

@Stokes

Before you ask, no, I am not going to give you my Twitter handle.

 Elkins, WV
Joined April 2007
  • Tweets1.3K
  • Following37
  • Followers172
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Photo by Sutton (@Stokes)
Latest #dadjoke, after facilitating my child's purchase of Robux: "Don't spend it all in one place."
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Simple, sweet Christmas present idea suttonstokes.com/2017/12/15/…
Simple, sweet Christmas present idea

Simple, sweet Christmas present idea

Last week, I arrived home from carousing with friends to find the rest of my family arrayed on Amy’s and my bed, looking through our daughter’s “baby book.” As you might exp…

suttonstokes.com
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Warning: this story contains unplanned human contact suttonstokes.com/2017/12/15/…
Warning: this story contains unplanned, unmediated human contact

Warning: this story contains unplanned, unmediated human contact

As I mentioned the other day, the only reason we maintain a landline is so the kids can call 911 when the weak blood vessel in my brain finally ruptures while I’m screaming at them. Otherwise, I re…

suttonstokes.com
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Think of the children—or, actually, don’t! suttonstokes.com/2017/12/14/…
Think of the children—or, actually, don’t!

Think of the children—or, actually, don’t!

A timely reminder that the 14-year-old girls children of America don’t want to have sex with you: “We don’t want to kiss you. We don’t want to be touched by you. Not under the bra. Not …

suttonstokes.com
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I just published “5,000 miles, two small kids, and one tent: What could go wrong?” medium.com/p/5-000-miles-two…
5,000 miles, two small kids, and one tent: What could go wrong?

5,000 miles, two small kids, and one tent: What could go wrong?

We needed a destination, preferably one as different from Disney World as possible.

medium.com
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Bad sign: "Hudson [was] holding a sword and a knife by the time she returned to the living room." wvgazettemail.com/news-cops-…
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Find out the secret identity of April Fool's Day in Elkins, W. Va. in my latest Elkinite.com column. elkinite.com/happy-april-foo…
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#freedom #freedom.to teapaw.org/stokes/status/84458356…
Sutton (@Stokes) profile pictureSutton@Stokes22 Mar 2017
How to break the internet, so you can get things done. (And: @Reince Priebus: Muppet or @peeweeherman lookalike?) suttonstokes.com/archives/29…
Picture, 1000 words: current relationship between U.S. and world in one snapshot. teapaw.org/matthaig1/status/84303…
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How to break the internet, so you can get things done. (And: @Reince Priebus: Muppet or @peeweeherman lookalike?) suttonstokes.com/archives/29…
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Inspired by Mary Lee Settle, intro'ed to by Catherine Moore's "Cedar Grove" radio piece. #hubapalooza
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NO THREAT at Elkins High & Middle Schools. "Code yellow" was simply for a drug sweep by Elkins PD.
I bet you'll do at least as terribly as I did on the Ipsos MORI Perils of Perception Quiz. ipsos-mori.com/_assets/perce…
Starting to favor giving the kids a one-night gorge after Halloween rather than establish a daily habit. #funwhileitlasted #10minutetantrum
The shorter one seems to have enjoyed Sunday's time change so much she set her internal clock back another hour last night. #upsince3:45
The data nerd in me enjoys meal tracking with #LoseIt but wishes it had a "generate shopping list" feature based on a week's meals.
Sutton retweeted
SFGATE (@SFGate) profile picture
SFGATE
@SFGate30 Oct 2014
The scene at 22nd and Mission. (Photo by Jessica Christian / The Chronicle) sfg.ly/1weaOLC
Image from SFGATE (@SFGate)
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Spinach + Trader Joe's canned sockeye omelet FTW! (The bones are pleasingly crunchy.)
Headed home.
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