Tobi Goldstein

The freshmen are here! The freshmen are here!

Only fitting that I got raped by an exam in my “white men are evil” class today

Anyone know why all the chicks in my class are wearing a burqa today?

#neverdaunted but I refuse to believe there is not some devil magic going on in that locker room. Winning like this is just not sustainable

Just saw a car drive into the facility at 2 am. Hoosiers by a milli

Dudes will have the worst physique of all time and show up to class in a cutoff when it’s 70 degrees

Teacher just said she found a new ai detection tool and I submitted an essay written entirely by chat last night

Checked my screen time for the month and found this gem

You already know what I’m gonna say #kill

Lowkey might just move to a Caribbean island and be homeless. Having a job seems kinda gay

Mexicans dudes love wearing tight ass sweatpants with soccer jerseys

Professors who get subs instead of cancelling class are genuinely worse than Hitler, Bin Laden, and Genghis Khan combined

Blocked punt today. It’s due.

Gameday.

Really don’t understand how people can have hobbies that aren’t sports, scrolling, and drinking

Gameday eve means retard drivers are out in full force

Went through my Instagram bookmarks and had 80 straight of 2016 Sommer Ray buns

Skipping class to watch “The Cornell 7” #priorities

Biggest week of the year and I feel myself getting sick. Will I let this stop me? No. #beastmode