Tash

Writing a terribly modest CV, for fear of appearing boastful

Never concentrating so hard than when manoeuvring a full cup of tea whilst lying down

Internally debating whether to tell someone they have food on their face for the duration of the meal

Hoping someone doesn't ever realise you allow them to get your name a little bit wrong

Unleashing your wrath by quietly muttering "merry Christmas to you too"

Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

Looking cross after sneezing more than once, so everyone knows you're just as annoyed with the situation as they are

Entering into a mild panic if unable to locate each barcode within three milliseconds at a busy self-service checkout

Being astonished at how many people add milk during the wrong stage of the tea making process

Knowing there are people out there who attempt to resuscitate tea in the microwave

Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

Never feeling more uncomfortable than when instructed to "make yourself at home"

Getting caught between "lovely" and "thank you" and telling a shop assistant that you love them

The sorrow of remembering your tea just as it dips below optimum temperature