Taxi Haskell

Since MAGA is out there once again saying their Melon-hued Messiah is making “prayer great again”, let’s talk about God and Trump, shall we? When Donald was a 5 year-old boy, he was caught throwing rocks at a baby in a crib in the neighboring yard. When he was eligible for the draft, while his peers went off to war, he sought medical deferments for an ailment he didn’t have. He left his first wife, who said he raped her, for his second wife, who he cheated on with his third wife, who he cheated on with a porn star and a Playmate, who he then paid to keep quiet, before he lied about the money he paid them. Yes, really. He bragged about grabbing women by the pussy when he wasn’t making fun of their looks, their weight, their menstrual cycles, or calling them “dogs,” he cheated people out of their money, stole from charities, mocked a disabled reporter, joked about Paul Pelosi being attacked by a man with a hammer, opined about having sex with his daughter, insulted people who stutter, said he didn’t want war-wounded amputees in his sight, golfed and tweeted while Americans died from Covid, incited horrific violence in order to install himself in an office he was voted out of, and then pardoned every single person who perpetrated the violence he himself incited. He is named in the files of a notorious sex trafficker he spent decades being best friends with, and relocated said sex trafficker’s partner in crime to a bougie Club Fed cushioned with comforts most of the survivors of her abuse will never know. Yes, really. He’s a sociopathic, narcissistic, pathologically lying, serial sexual predator, and a bigoted, hateful, vitriolic criminal conman who refers to innocent immigrants as “vermin,” while praising murderous despots at the same time. He can’t cite a single passage from the Bible when asked but will still sell them for profit, he doesn’t attend church but worships instead every Sunday at Our Lady of The Perpetual Mulligan, and he’s even had the audacity to refer to himself as the second coming of Jesus. Yes, really. God has turned him into a tomato-sauce-stained sloth-like felon with bruised hands, slurred speech and swollen ankles. God impeached him twice, made him lose reelection once and visited upon his first term in office a once-in-a-lifetime global pandemic which ravaged our country along with the rest of the world. And then God convicted him on 34 counts and found him liable of defamation, sexual abuse & business fraud. God created someone as hateful, impulsive, intolerant, needy, angry, vengeful, malevolent, selfish, sadistic, depraved, amoral, areligious, idiotic, envious, devious and evil as Donald Trump, made his first presidency the most infamous in the history of time, and then rained down upon him the hammer of justice in historic fashion all so that he could return him to the office he once tried to steal? That’s God at work, is it? He handed the highest political office on the planet to the physical embodiment of the seven deadly sins rolled into a sadistic, senile, septuagenarian who personifies everything Jesus spoke against because he is so “devout”? The truth is that slimmest plurality of Americans, comprised of the dumbest, most willfully self-sabotaging fools in this country put him back in office for a second term because they either couldn’t or wouldn’t vote for a Black woman. But that victory is what the cult will point to as the “proof” their spiteful psychopathic savior was sent “by God.” Really?!? That he was “chosen” by God himself. Well, that’s straight up bullshit. But it’s also what they have to tell themselves, because despite everything he’s done and everything he’s said, despite what they can see with their own eyes and hear with their own ears—MAGA will still believe what they need to believe. Because the truth is that this was never about God. These people don’t worship God. They worship Trump.