Berlin Blade

Old Red Cross is back

‘Don’t drink with antibiotics!’ Yeah I won’t wank with a hardon either you fuckin loser, fuck off! Sick of it

Just hearing about the Russell brand stuff. I had no idea!

‘This is the UNMISTAKABLE sound. Of UB40’ - DJ X on Spotify

Am I a joke to you people

There’s an NDA david!!!!

David walliams famously didn’t even care about getting consent from his computer. That once popular sketch on little Britain looking ominously poignant now.

While that Florida plane crash is really awful, I do still think I would have survived it, as I am simply built differently to other people

Top shaggers alert 🚨🚨

Top 3 videos of all time and I’ve seen Ken bigley

Such a poor return for some fantastic family friendly comedy. Just shows you don’t have to be crude or ‘edgy’ to be funny but I guess the modern day comedy content consumer would prefer that! Maybe gets more likes! Shame. But I will never compromise my standards for that crap.

I’ve got a joke for you: What’s white and straight and comes on other peoples DHL packages that have been left outside their front door while they’re out? Me

Reaaaaally spooky Halloween for the big man last night (got ghosted by 4 different girls)

‘Wow! I can’t believe I lost 12 kilograms almost overnight! Doctors HATE this one trick!’ - me if I got circumcised

The married older lady I am sleeping with arranged to come over at 08.30am to have sex with me before work. I don’t hate it.

Unbelievable!! Gets earlier every year!! My local supermarket has put out Christmas stuff already… FOR 2027!!!!!!

Just seen a traffic warden with 1312 tattood on his hand

Me when she’s 7 seconds away from telling me she’s decided to go with a different option

I had 3 melatonin earlier and I dreamt I was on acid with Audrey from coronation street. We were smoking cigs together in her bath and wearing her old slippers and listening to Huey Lewis and the news. I know this sounds made up but I promise it isn’t

Nice to hear him credit Stephen merchant for a change