I used to be hotter and funnier and more important. I still work with wood.
Far away, up north
Joined April 2017
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Howdy, Twitter. It’s been like 6ish months? I’m 30 and tonight I heard a Chappell Roan song that seemed super inappropriate because it reminded me of every song I was obsessed with I when I was 15, and that was half my life ago.
I hope you’re all doing beautifully, too.
This is where we’re fuckin at and I am weeping.
It’s perfect, it’s glowing, it’s all my sweat and my blood and my tears, and it’s mine.
I will never ever do it again, but it was all worth it, and then some.
Sitting in my Barcalounger listening to the radio on the 1956 Magnavox, Squeeg and Big Mouth Billy Bass on deck.
I’m your hot suburban dad and I am at peace.
I have had a small bruise on my chin (sex related, don’t worry about it) since Saturday and today I casually mentioned it & TWO separate people, both of whom I’ve seen at least twice since, said “oh, I just figured it was dirt.”
They thought I had dirt on my face. FOR TWO DAYS.
My 2026 prediction is that the summer bop is Taylor Swift singing about balls that weren’t worth kicking at the last minute.
I for one love that Taylor Swift has finally found a man who’s impossible to write a compelling song about.
Hey guys, just wanted to say I’ve grown up a lot and I handle my problems like a super healthy well adjusted adult now 👍
The first rule of fight club is actually to fetishize fight club and deeply embed that into your psyche.