Ginger

"Why do your farts linger? Are you a Cranberry?" ~@OneSockDan

Actual post on a local FB page #iCantMakeThisShitUp

People who claim to eat only to fuel their bodies are clearly whacked. #ifuckinglovefood #givemecheeseburgersorgivemedeath #andbeer

Old man to my left has begun snoring. #tireshopwaitingroomtweets

Also, weird Darth Vader-sounding woman who insisted on sitting SO.CLOSE to me keeps staring. #eatyourcandybarandwatchyoursoapopera

Holy shit daytime TV blows goats. 😬🔫 #tireshopwaitingroomtweets

You know that Santa has run out of hiding places when you have a jar of Nutella in your panty drawer.

3 reasons that I would suck at being a Mormon: 1. Beer 2. Coffee 3. Excessive use of the F word

I ate 2 cookies. Does that count as lunch? Does it make a difference if they're homemade?

CX'd out #zzzzzz instagram.com/p/-FQX9ixmF1aT…

Husband tells me to buy a new pair of shoes that I like. I buy a new bike chain instead. #samething?

Somebody's selling her son's used cloth diapers on a local FB page. "Minimal staining & they don't stink." #isThisRealLife?

As seen on FB this morning: girl asking for $ so she can freeze her eggs before her hysterectomy. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! #isThisRealLife?

I cooked my kids' pancakes in bacon grease this morning. I clearly love them. #momoftheyear!