I get new followers infrequently enough that I can run vibe checks. If I can see you retweeting Elon Musk or some other idiot chud within 30 seconds of scrolling thru your feed, don't bother following cuz I will softblock you

What are you FREAKING doing

Few people are lucky enough to choose the hill they die on

Fuck you; no shit my tweets are weird and suck. Go to hell.

Please take your balls off inside the house

Making five wishes right away and holding my hand out so the fingers on the monkey's paw curl around it and I know what it's like to have my hand held

Omg you're right in the middle of the vortex get out of there that's so embarrassing for you

There. 👉

That was 600 years ago idiot

What am I supposed to do btw

The think of three things at the same time challenge

Sick n fucking tired of agreeing with Fantano on shit. It's not on purpose

I did the thing where I respected a friend's wish to stay friends and through that trust the friendship eventually developed into a romantic relationship and yknow what she was right the first time around lmao

[gives you an ergonomic bevel]

I love drinking a whole bunch of water right after I pee. Like yes life is an endless circle

Jonk cannot be loved it is not possible

I love him so much

The fashion police shot my dog

I'm gonna show you a world of hurt from really far away because if you're too close you might get hurt yourself and I don't want that you are precious to me

Roundabouts are honestly really annoying. What do you mean I need to circle around the loop thirty times because it's fun?

How are you doing? Just kidding fuck you