G 🔜 to get tacos

I listen to gangster rap, but I also take pepto bismol because my tummy hurts.

Day shift is kicking my ass. Got me sleeping at 4pm. Then my dumb self can’t get to sleep at a decent time.

I’m starting to feel like memes are meant to hurt my feelings.

The average child cost $250k, but a taco usually only costs $1. Take your pick.

Cheese is just a loaf of milk 🤔🤔

Since when did Burger King sell tacos? 🤔🤔

This is probably my worst trait.

My only regret in life is expecting the same energy back from the people I gave so much too.

I’m a slut for chugging a whole bottle of water after waking up in the middle of the night.

Whale, she ain’t wrong.

Not my chair, not my problem. That’s what I say.

My buddy bought a 3d printer. And he sends me this. The charmander is mine. 😍

Did Taco Bell for real get rid of the caramel apple empanadas?

Twitter dm: more second dates than match.com

A wise man once said “never play leapfrog with a unicorn.”

Been thinking about tattoos lately. I might just design some stuff and get it randomly.

I hate the whole “you’re not a real man if you use Ac!” Bitch, it’s fucking hot outside...