@TotallyAllen

Comics Unleashed. Conan. Adult Swim. Comedy Central special The Intellectual Shocker on YouTube. Order my album Ran Through on vinyl and digital below.

 Los Allenges
linktr.ee/totallyallen
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets17.8K
  • Following2.9K
  • Followers20K
1.4KMedia
If 9/11 happened today it would be 9/2, dumbass.
alyssa
@alyssamariiee11Sep 2
If 9/11 happened today, the left would be defending the hijackers
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smoking that shit that made cheech chong
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Allen Strickland Williams will return as James Bond in... Moonfucker
Film Updates
@FilmUpdatesOct 22
The four finalists for James Bond are: • Callum Turner • Josh O’Connor • Jack Lowden • Mystery Actor Final screen tests are set to take place next week. 🔗 deadline.com/2026/10/james-b…
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First date: we fuck raw Second date: kisses on the mouth Third date: I explain how important final fantasy 7 has been to me
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Sam Vecenie
@Sam_VecenieOct 23
I mean, just an all-time TV segment. Making Chuck do Who He Play For multiple times in a row with the same players is a brilliant idea and I was legit crying laughing by the end, my god.
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WallyNut
@WalliceWallfordOct 23
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy
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Seth
@SethStuderOct 22
New UJJP with Jax-Raised comedian @TotallyAllen. 📺: youtu.be/09bu9Pwg7HU WTF is “ethical QBing?” Where TF are BTJ’s hands? And a Twitter promise comes back to haunt me. Allen’s a riot. Some much-needed Jaguars Rehab. Enjoy!
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huh?
.@OmgemeralddddOct 20
The literacy crisis isn’t that people can’t read the words. It’s that they can’t understand the context, infer meaning, recognise nuance, identify contradictions, or draw logical conclusions from what they’ve read
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Christopher Lloyd
@DocBrownLloydOct 22
Today I turn 88…I’ve seen some serious shit. The most serious of it all is love. I love my family, my friends, and my wonderful fans. The power of love remains.
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Seth
@SethStuderOct 22
Later Today: New UJJP - Jaguars Rehab with comedian Allen Strickland Williams (@TotallyAllen) Next Monday: a special tribute in honor of former Buffalo Bills HC Sean McDermott Confused? Good. Stay tuned.
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Soulja Boy
@souljaboy20 Oct 2012
family guy stupid lol Peter dumb lol
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7@_7xxmrOct 21
I wanna kiss u in front of everyone who wants u
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What’s next? Boringsub? come on now
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Seeing Digger the way it was meant to be seen…completely alone in a theater where in high school I used to do hand stuff
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Me in love while in the physical presence of my beloved: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me on my first solo trip since falling in love with my beloved: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
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sai@sighduhhOct 20
celtics blew a double digit lead? we’re so back.
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Jack Linnehan@JackLinnehanOct 20
He is the funniest man alive, and the 2nd funniest person alive behind the woman who sits next to him and Kareem at the end
SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
@SubwayTakesOct 20
All statues should be made out of soap!! @ConanOBrien
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Saddest most pathetic and desperate shit I've ever seen in my life. Go AWAY.
KTLA
@KTLAOct 20
One of Los Angeles’ oldest restaurants, a rumored inventor of the French dip sandwich, is making a comeback after closing its doors in March. ktla.com/news/local-news/col…
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If I had made You Can See Everything I one hundo percent would have hooked up with Elizabeth Holmes. Probably Amanda too, but don't hold me to that.
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Rosa Pasquarella@whatrosasaidOct 20
Clay Face? Pft, call me when he’s a Gay Vase.
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man fuck this shit
maja 🔭🍒
@majamediacoOct 19
Just learned the ‘You Can See Everything’ movie happened because Lance Oppenheim sent a cold email to Nathan Fielder. Then Nathan invited Lance to his ‘private magic club’. Long live cold emails
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