ChrisIsBlue

Iowa. And I probably heard it on that movie Mighty Ducks

I've been thinking about my family lately and now I can't stop wondering. If I died how long after they received my life insurance would they wait before using the rest of the money on clothes and a big vacation.

TW: I feel like shit. That is really all there is to it. A bunch of random ass thoughts that won't stop whenever the room gets quiet.

I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that I’ve been on an unpaid medical leave for so long and I haven’t been able to buy food or anything for myself in over a month but my days are steadily declining. I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options and I’m not sure what to do

TW: I can feel that pressure building inside of me and I don’t know how to release it.

So I’ve relapsed. Is it still called a relapse if it happens repeatedly? I guess the only thing that shocks me is the change in method? I mean, scorching my skin?

and having the topic changed. Every time one of them tells me they want to hang out what they really want is to talk at me at loud volumes and if I try to speak they'll just talk right over me. It's always been this way, I just don't know why it's bothering me so much now. #BPD

For some reason the loneliness has been bothering me so much that it's even become difficult to sit through an entire episode of Supernatural because of the bonds created between the characters. I can't even get through a conversation with my family without being cutoff

become until I'm either numb, or drowning in so much pain I cannot find an end other than SH. I've been getting by with just a few shallow cutes every few weeks, but now even with that I'm having trouble breathing. #Depression #BPD

Lately my emotions have been bouncing all over the place, but even so they've continued in a downward spiral. I kept denying it and then I tried fighting against it, but still I can feel the heavy weight of darkness that is building in my chest, the otherness that my arms