Master Chief 🥭🪲#HenchTwt retweeted
My 2yo does this thing where he approaches me and repeats "I need to be Master Chief," which means I have to give him a small foam dart pistol and put his mom's motorcycle helmet on him. He (relatively) quietly walks around like that for a while before announcing that he's "done"
Master Chief 🥭🪲#HenchTwt retweeted
should’ve banged
In a crowded loud restaurant
Over everything I hear a voice shout “and that was the worst blowjob I ever gave!”



























