Came to Rome to choose - or be -a Pope. Now the voting is over and I'm one of 114 Cardinals jockeying for position. Soccer, anyone?
Outskirts of Vatican City
Joined March 2013
- Tweets202
- Following347
- Followers84
- Likes0
Too many Mothers Day hats and flowers in the pews today. Had to truncate the Homily. #ClaritanBeWithYou
As soon as I said a Hail Mary, I realized I still haven't sent Mom a card. #VaticanHallmarkIsInsaneRightNow #NoIDontWantACardThatPlaysHeyYa
Francis has restored the tradition of exchanging skullcaps with pilgrims. Inside scoop: he got the idea trading pins at Disney. #IWantPluto
For the record, @ReeseWitherspoon pulled that same crap in confession with me. #YesIKnowWhoYouAreButYouStillHaveToSay50HailMarys
#IWishIWas confident enough to tell Pope Francis that NO, I don't want to watch @JudgeJoeBrown all afternoon long. #IMissGeneralHospital
I guess dinnertime just moved up to 3:30 now that Benedict is back in the fold. #NotSizzlerAgain
Benedict and Francis's FB log-ins are confused: be careful what you IM right now because both can see it. #VaticanITCouldntFixAnAbacus
Benedict back in the VC today. 1st thing he did was go into Francis's fridge and ask "what happened to all my yogurt?" #BoysenberryGoesFast
It's weird to me that #nationaldayofprayer is also #scurvyawarenessday. Alternating Liturgies and Limes all day long.
Thank God #preachingrocket has been invented. Catholicism barely made it 2000 years with the old-style homily. #ShortAttentionSpanSermons
Tough to hang with the Pontiff after dinner - he is addicted to all things Law & Order. #WhoFollowsSamWatersonOnTwitter
If the Jets had released Tebow a month ago we might have a different Pope. #AndHesNotEvenCatholic #PlusFrancisIsMoreAccurate
Consensus is if the Pope is going to ban calumny, then he'd better not ban dictionaries. #IWantHimOnMyPasswordTeam
Now that the Pope has condemned calumny, those backing aspersion and obloquy are acting pretty nervous. #LookingHardAtSlurToo
I swear Vatican City tests communion wafer prototypes weekly but is the last city on earth for the new McDonalds products. #LaysFlavorsToo
Francis just called me and asked "How do I get one of those Green Jacket thingies?" #PapalEnvy #Masters1Conclave0
Thursdays are slow here in the Vatican City. We just did a 2-for-1 on venial sins to drum up some Confessional crowd-sourcing.
I can feel that post-conclave, post-Easter malaise setting in. Pope said we can ditch the Responsorial Psalms this weekend. #LessGabMoreSun