Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms) header
Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms) profile picture

Joe Kelley

@UtilizeShrooms

Parody Account. I do not represent Joe Kelley's opinions in any way. Go listen to his stand-up comedy album.

 Flint, MI
linktr.ee/UtilizeShrooms
Joined February 2013
  • Tweets10.1K
  • Following271
  • Followers618
1.5KMedia
Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)Photo by Joe Kelley (@UtilizeShrooms)
Full Album/Special is now on YouTube! Go give it a like and subscribe! Joe Kelley Ladies & Leftovers | Full Stand Up Comedy Special youtu.be/OjnCb1BidMI
1
3
9
Goddamn I miss LiveLeak.
SK 💃🏾🕺 (@Rimmesfk) profile pictureSK 💃🏾🕺
@RimmesfkOct 10
A man has jumped into a tiger enclosure at The Yorkshire Wildlife park! No reports yet, as to whether he survived or not, apart from gun shots were fired & the park has been closed with heavy police & ambulance presence 🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t even want to ask, how or why? #YWLP
69
Maybe they can bring out a couple of them UFC ring girls before or after. I'm gonna cum either way but it would be nice to go to bed with some self respect.
The Associated Press (@AP) profile pictureThe Associated Press
@APOct 8
BREAKING: The Pentagon says it will livestream the firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan. apnews.com/article/fort-hood…
Pentagon says the firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan will be livestreamed

Pentagon says the firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan will be livestreamed

The Pentagon says the firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan will be livestreamed after Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said the execution would be “public.”

apnews.com
50
Kane vs. Fetterman. Loser has to grow his shitty hair out until the next election cycle.
Wrestling News (@WrestlingNewsCo) profile pictureWrestling News
@WrestlingNewsCoSep 8
Glenn Jacobs could end up in the U.S. Senate without running for it. Axios reports Sen. Marsha Blackburn plans to appoint her own successor if she wins the Tennessee governor's race in November, and Jacobs, the Knox County mayor, is viewed as a top candidate.
Image from Wrestling News (@WrestlingNewsCo)
1
31
Howard Stern showed a whole generation that retards are hilarious. God bless this man. All the best to you Howie.
HBO Max (@hbomax) profile pictureHBO Max
@hbomaxSep 9
Howard Stern brings his legendary SiriusXM show to streaming. #TheHowardSternShow premieres September 17 on HBO Max.
1
121
"I can't believe that drug-dealing thief with face tattoos betrayed me!" - Some guy who can't read the writing on the wall (or someone's face *wocka wocka*)
55
I didn't even know Dolly was alive until she died.
1
26
I believe it was Plato who wrote, "You know the end is near when people begin to have opinions on lady basketball."
2
110
It's at these moments where I ask myself was "The Art of War" written by a Chinese fella or a fat white guy.
58
I think Tony Montana could've been happy and successful working as a dishwasher and still fucked that guy's lady had it not been for the boot scootin' boogie.
1
1
92
The hit list has turned the tables
New York Post (@nypost) profile pictureNew York Post
@nypost29 Aug 2025
Bill Clinton seen with defibrillator at Hamptons airport — sparking new concerns over ex-prez’s health trib.al/XjuXqh0
Image from New York Post (@nypost)
67
I'm happy to live in a society where if you're useless and don't have tits, you just eat food in front of your phone or yell at it until people think you're important.
42
I take it all back brother. I love them. Brother. Wish my daughter, Brooke, would've picked one like this! #Summerslam #HulkHogan
Wrestlelamia.com (@wrestlelamia) profile pictureWrestlelamia.com
@wrestlelamia2 Aug 2025
Cardi B got her own intro 🫡 #SummerSlam
Image from Wrestlelamia.com (@wrestlelamia)
180
Jelly Roll looks like a combination of Eugene and James Ellsworth. Brother. #Summerslam #HulkHogan
1
1
195
Too much pigment for me, brother. #Summerslam #HulkHogan
WWE (@WWE) profile pictureWWE
@WWE2 Aug 2025
The OTC and the Yeet Man are victorious at SummerSlam! ☝️🙌
325
I'm not sure, brother. But just not in my section of the diner. Brother. #Summerslam #HulkHogan
FADE (@FadeAwayMedia) profile pictureFADE
@FadeAwayMedia2 Aug 2025
Where does Jade Cargill go from here? 👀 #SummerSlam
Image from FADE (@FadeAwayMedia)
1
1
267
Best person won, brother. And not because of her wrestling abilities. Brother. #Summerslam #HulkHogan
Wrestle Ops (@WrestleOps) profile pictureWrestle Ops
@WrestleOps2 Aug 2025
AND STILL Tiffany Stratton defeats Jade Cargill to retain the Women’s Championship. #SummerSlam
Image from Wrestle Ops (@WrestleOps)
226
I'll tell ya what brother, when I heard Jelly Roll had been to prison, I expected him to look a little different. Brother. #SummerSlam    #HulkHogan
126
Logan Paul is great, but his music sounds like something my daughter, Brooke, would like. 😡 #SummerSlam #HulkHogan
1
143
Listen brother, I've said how I feel, but that doesn't mean Jade Cargill can't take my vitamins. #SummerSlam    #HulkHogan
123
If the Black Scorpion shows up, I'm out of here brother. #SummerSlam    #HulkHogan
120
Load more