LS 🦖

psa: if she's into you, she's probably a chinese spy

Dear Chinese government, I currently work in the AI space, have semi sensitive data, and am very succeptable to cute spies. Please whatever you do don't target me with your cutie spy squad and force me to leak secret info it would be really mean of you.

The US government spent billions building a chip embargo and cyber fortress around Nvidia. Her name was Alice Huang (Huang Le). She walked into a Taipei whiskey bar, got close to CEO Jensen Huang, and routed $4.8 billion of Nvidia AI hardware through a Singapore firm in 20 months. This is the story of Alice Huang and how a 5,000-year-old human exploit bypassed a $3.5 trillion tech giant that's guarded like a military base. 2023 - June 2024 - Chinese mobile gaming firm 7Road spins out a new data center startup in Singapore called Megaspeed - Alice Huang, a former TV reporter in China with no family relation to Jensen Huang, steps in as managing director - during the June 2024 Computex conference in Taipei, she bets tech executives at a whiskey bar that she can get the Nvidia CEO to show up - shortly after 12:00 AM midnight, 63-year-old Jensen Huang walks in wearing his black leather jacket and sits right beside her for the rest of the night June 2024 - February 2026 - while Washington blocks H100 and B200 chip exports and bans ASML EUV lithography machines from China, Megaspeed becomes a massive buyer - trade records tracked by The New York Times show Megaspeed and its Malaysian sister firm buy $4.8 billion worth of Nvidia AI hardware - at least $2 billion in advanced chips flow through Malaysia into Indonesian data centers where Chinese tech giant Alibaba rents the compute capacity May 2025 - Jensen Huang and Alice Huang are photographed leaving the San Liu Shi Fu restaurant in Taipei on May 23, with Alice walking right behind him in a pink dress holding a glass of red wine - after monitoring Alice Huang for over 1 year, US intelligence agencies circulate a classified assessment concluding she was recruited by China's Ministry of State Security (MSS) - when intelligence officers unmask the American citizen on her intercepted phone calls, the name comes back as Jensen Huang October 2026 - Today - Nvidia initially dismisses federal probes in the US, Singapore, and Taiwan by calling the meetings "completely normal and not unusual" - on November 8, 2026, after The New York Times and Financial Times expose the romantic relationship, Jensen Huang emails 30,000+ employees admitting he was unfaithful to his wife of 43 years: "I was unfaithful to my wife. My actions hurt her and our children. There is no excuse for what I did. I am deeply sorry." To this day, Nvidia's Board of Directors is investigating whether its own CEO was compromised by a foreign spy operation, while Kalshi prices a 20% chance he steps down before 2029. You can spend billions locking down silicon wafers, export controls, and enterprise firewalls. Across 5,000 years of espionage, when encryption becomes unbreakable, the biggest zero-day vulnerability on the planet is still human biology.