Eleventy gallons of shit in a ten gallon hat
Houston, TX
Joined June 2016
- Tweets34.8K
- Following185
- Followers266
- Likes58.6K
I think I'm done tweeting for the night and maybe forever. If so, I'll leave it as this: Be kind. Do your best to remember that the other person you're dealing with is also dealing with things. Be kind. Someday you might be on the other side.
A couple of absolute duds and a banger if only you lived in my headspace (end of times getting this dumb as fuck joke out)
The good news is there's only around 10 people who interact with me on twitter, so long as you 10 don't leave I'll be fine
My conspiracy theory is that real rich people grew tired of Leon getting all the glory for being a wealthy genius so they convinced him, a paper tiger, to purchase a company they knew he was too dumb to manage and it would destroy them both.
I'm sorry, but I liked your message until you got violent.
Iranian protesters set fire to Ayatollah Khomeini's house bbc.in/3OkRCsK
You are a prisoner in a room with 2 doors and 2 guards. One of the doors will guide you to freedom and behind the other is a hangman–you don't know which is which.
One of the guards always tells the truth and the other always lies.
Her cholesterol must be through the roof
After the interview, Pelosi said it was time for lunch. What do you eat the day you announce such a consequential decision? A hot dog with relish and mustard, same as Pelosi eats everyday, she said.
wsj.com/livecoverage/midterm…
Taylorum Swiftus "You were" show
Taylor Swift’s long-awaited return to touring spelled disaster for Ticketmaster as fans scrambled for seats to the “Eras” show, with the live-events site blaming “unprecedented” demand and others criticizing it’s domination over the ticketing industry. wapo.st/3EAr6Iz
ALT A photo of singer-songwriter Taylor Swift performing, with the text-overlaid headline reading "Taylor Swift's long-awaited return to touring was a disaster for Ticketmaster."
Xanderpuss *️⃣ retweeted
3yr old: Where does poo come from?
Me(making it simple):You just had lunch
Her: Yes
Me:The food goes into your mouth & into your tummy.Our body takes all the good stuff and the rest goes to our bottom & when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo
Stunned silence
Her:& Tigger?
Sir, Mr Musk sir, I am also a very successful businessman, and sir, what I would do now is lay off your remaining staff and then double ad costs. This is an assured way to gain more profit, good sir!
What's her @
Houstonian claims world's largest feet title with Guinness World Record plaque to boot bit.ly/3gcir5X
Guys, don't try to make Instagram your thing. Zuckerberg owns it. That's just Facebook 2.0, basically hardcore Facebook.
