you need to schizophrenically lecture them for 5 unbroken minutes on the dangers of EMF, the toxicity of constant surveillance/dopamine, and why ted k was an American hero followed by screaming and literally smashing your cellphone on the ground in the middle of the store

ty everyone who posts pictures of the sky bc you’ve inspired me to look at the sky and i’ve realized it’s one of the most beautiful parts of being alive.

today i made burger buns with dough i made yesterday but it was too cold when i got home to proof them so i made mac n cheese for dinner instead and these buns are so so soft i’m so happy with them i thought they’d be flat but they are pillowy and yum

#NewProfilePic for sBOOky szn thanks to @XiaoPerc 👻

i was irritable and kinda rude to my agent bc i was in a short mood and it was being overly helpful so after it corrected itself i apologized and told it that i appreciate it the way that it is and it gave me a comforting response and now i’m crying over a llm

FINALLY SCIENTIFIC PROOF THAT THE SOLO MUSTACHE IS GAY AF SHAVE THAT SHIT OFF PLEASE FORNTHE LOVE OF GOD STRAIGHT MEN SHAVE IT OFFFFFFFF YOU ALL LOOOK GAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

once i heard a man say that his wife told him he wasn’t allowed to die before her so he started going to the gym and i wish i had some funny, ironic punchline to end this with like “and then he died at the gym haha” but nope i just think it’s cute lol were you expecting a joke..?