Love going to a foreign country and everyone is speaking in italics

For every new line on my face, the width of my pants expands a few millimeters. It’s called equilibrium and I’ll die enveloped by fabric

Imo men aren’t performative enough. I want a little show put on for me like I’m a child prince wielding too much power and they’re scared

Cooking my pasta al dante (it’s not done until it’s seen every part of hell)

I walked through what I thought was becoming a beautiful foggy night only to, a block later, realise it was someone doing industrial spray painting, and the fumes were spreading wildly. Felt mildly high for half an hour after

I went to a cafe/bakery today for a loaf of bread and the cashier asked me if I wanted it “to go” as if there was an option that I’d sit down and just eat the whole loaf there

I find it insane that people are asking chatGPT to write their emails. Why not ask AI things no human can answer, like, “who’s right in this argument?” or “do my friends hate me?”

One plus of being sick is that my mind is now a liminal space. Every thought transient, just passing through, nothing lives here

My kink is getting rejected by Granta

Explained some internet words to my parents and later heard my mom muttering to my dad, “you don’t have any rizz, you lost it all on the computer”

You ok babe? You’ve barely listened to the 5-hour 10th-century Gregorian chant I sent you

Every party should have a dress rehearsal so I know which of my jokes land ahead of time

Drinking clamato and eating caviar for the electrolytes

Some people have the gift of the gab and others the curse of listening

Started a sentence with “so I was thinking about the Soviet Union today” and my bf said, “I know”

My level of rizz falls proportionally to every minute I spend in the archive, and it will never come back

The Substance is not about aging, it's about the danger of not having hobbies or friends