Kids Write Jokes · Apr 4, 2017 · 11:34 AM UTC

Ian Mojica retweeted

bob:doctor doctor i need a new but. doctor:what is it bob. bob:it has a crack in it doctor:that is normal bob

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Ian Mojica · Mar 6, 2017 · 5:44 PM UTC

綺 · Mar 4, 2017 · 6:23 AM UTC

Ian Mojica retweeted

Xの紅など激しい曲ばかりではなくて、ここで1曲お子さん向けの曲を…！と始まったアンパンマンのマーチですが、、、段々激しくなっていく2番からの演奏をご覧下さい。

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Ian Mojica · Aug 29, 2016 · 1:01 PM UTC

JUST DROVE PAST A CAR ON FIRE

Ian Mojica · Aug 22, 2016 · 10:28 PM UTC

I just saw an OLD ASIAN FEMALE TRUCK DRIVER ????

Ian Mojica · Aug 14, 2016 · 7:42 AM UTC

(I'm not drunk, I just like dogs a lot)

Kids Write Jokes · Feb 14, 2016 · 6:10 AM UTC

Ian Mojica retweeted

Father: Shut up! Don’t tell your father how to manage our business. I have eaten more salt than you have rice

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Ian Mojica · Mar 27, 2016 · 1:31 PM UTC

Can you teach a fish to love?

Ian Mojica · Mar 14, 2016 · 12:49 AM UTC

Is it just me, or do all bathrooms have more toothbrushes than necessary?

Ian Mojica · Dec 4, 2015 · 2:47 AM UTC

Ian Mojica · Nov 21, 2015 · 9:16 AM UTC

I've been playing #Skyrim for almost five years now & I just saw the headless horseman for the first time. Weird.

Ian Mojica · Jun 14, 2015 · 6:59 PM UTC

I will never not be startled by a toaster ejecting toast

Ian Mojica · May 29, 2015 · 12:10 AM UTC

Just got home but I'm stuck in my car because a wasp is sitting right outside my door. Send help

Ian Mojica · May 28, 2015 · 7:56 AM UTC

I don't trust people who weren't emotionally affected by the opening of #TheLastOfUs. #4amthoughts

Ian Mojica · Jan 9, 2015 · 3:56 PM UTC

@xelmoemilyx checkers master race

Ian Mojica · Sep 14, 2014 · 8:52 PM UTC

People who have handicapped tags but don't park in handicapped spots: why?