Sam retweeted
borrowing a friends car and texting them a picture of it completely submerged in a lake fifteen minutes later
Sam retweeted
They always say quit while you’re ahead but I think there’s a lot to be said about quitting while you’re behind as well
Sam retweeted
We need to destigmatize candles as gifts. Candles are actually really expensive and nice to receive
Sam retweeted
teenagers are animals, like I used to get home from track and eat a whole rotisserie chicken as a snack
Sam retweeted
Frog knocked at Toad’s door. “Toad, wake up, he cried. “Come out and see how wonderful the winter is!”
““I will not,” said Toad. “I am in my warm bed.”
Sam retweeted
I’m addicted to saying weird shit for no reason why did i just walk out of my office and say “don’t have too much fun without me” like shut up
Sam retweeted
Adoption is an alternative to parenting. Abortion is an alternative to pregnancy. If you do not want to be pregnant, adoption isn't relevant to the conversation. Pregnancy can be a dangerous endeavor and we can't force people to go through it.






















