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John “The Laughing Magician” Constantine

@abenormal13

The Laughing Magician, The Constant One, my friends call me John. You can call me Mr. Constantine. (Parody account) #RP #DCRP

 The House of Mystery
Joined August 2018
  • Tweets18.2K
  • Following242
  • Followers431
Solo - “The House Always Wins” I walked, collar turned up against the chill autumn winds, through the dim streets of Lambeth. Hungry eyes watched from the doorways of dilapidated buildings trying to judge whether I was predator or prey. Luckily my reputation preceded me. +
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Alright I may have gotten drunk and opened a portal to hell yesterday. Long story short this came out, his names benny and I’m keeping him.
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This is as close as I get to looking like a proper superhero. If I ever wear a cape I’d die of fucking embarrassment.
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//Jesus Christ there’s gonna be so many sandman do’s by next week isn’t there? *reaches for a cigarette to calm my frayed nerves.*
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Uh oh. Nobody ask me any questions until I get this thing untangled. Bloody Wonder Woman!
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Where I’m at this morning people.
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It’s 5am I can’t sleep and I’m a little drunk. Amuse me people!
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You know even as a kid I was a cute little bugger.
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Alright I know I look a bit rough here but I think burying me was a bit premature.
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WOMEN BELONG IN THE KITCHEN! Oh sorry, I misread #SexySaturday as #SexistSaturday … oh, I’m gonna get in trouble for this one.
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Happy #StraitJacketSaturday people. You all have my permission to go a little mad!
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God I’m so very bored I’ll even give guided tours of the House of Mystery. Constantine Tours (tm) assume no responsibility for loss of life, limb or wallet as a result of said guided tour.
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//Well, now we riot. But seriously this is what happens when you rush through stupid, Ill thought out laws. thedailybeast.com/the-suprem…
The Supreme Court May Have Just Killed Porn’s ‘Creampie’

The Supreme Court May Have Just Killed Porn’s ‘Creampie’

With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, porn’s women are now refusing to participate in “creampie” scenes, and many are doing girl/girl scenes only to reduce the risk of pregnancy.

thedailybeast.com
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I’ve had an idea to beat the heat. I need a bag of water and some ice @kryptonianhell
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Like this tweet to become my official fan slave. I’ll beat the heat yet.
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@kryptonianhell come on then show me your fan skills
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How I’ll be spending this stupidly hot day today
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A visual representation of me right this very second.
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BOLLOCKS! I’m completely out of cigarettes. Who wants to bring me more?
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Ok people like this tweet for a free magic trick.
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more replies
@kryptonianhell you’ve got the assistants revenge. Where we get to trade places in a dangerous stunt. I know you’ve been waiting for that.
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@JezzyConnelly you get the table of death. Just lie down and I’ll get you chained in place.
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@DirWilliamsMI6 here’s a magic trick at your level mate.
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@SnarkAndBooze this one will be close to your heart you get the inexhaustible bottle trick.
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