eye-lee

A girl in my sorority once ran across campus to bring me a battery for my insulin pump because I was in lab, & today she pulled out a handful of batteries and said she carries them around just in case I need one and it's honestly the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

It’s my bday and I’m spending it alone so everyone should venmo me $1 so I can go buy a new puzzle k thank

My new bit (that no one but myself thinks is funny) is to swipe up on people’s stories and say “did you mean to put this on your main story??” Like to literally anything. Selfies, dog vids, pics w the girls, aNYTHING

B- for effort

If someone pays me back via Venmo I feel like I just made money, is this girl finances?

What’s the female equivalent to a guy going through his phone showing you his pics

Snapchats random memories be showin me the absolute worst times of my life with people I no longer am friends with

LMAOOO

My roommate went bananas, moved back in with my parents, I broke my arm swing dancing, had to have surgery, my ex bf crawled back into my life and ruined it…did I miss anything?

Hinge had the potential to be the best dating app but instead they give you 3 likes a day and only show you the worst people you’ve ever seen and say that they’re you’re “most compatible”

“I don’t kiss on the first date” girl if I don’t fuck u on the first date that means I’m not interested

I’m not joking when I said that when I lived in the sorority, we would gather around and do poop yoga on a semi regular basis

Something I wasn’t expecting when I moved to Portland was the level of comfort and safety I feel getting gas because someone else does it. Like I can sit in the comfort of my locked car? And someone else does that shit?? Amazing

Told my bougie aunt that I was taking the bus home for Christmas and she immediately made me cancel that shit and bought me a flight home bc she said the bus is gross 😭

My friend has become somewhat of a pickpocket at the bars and this guy we met texted her this and now I’m cryyyying

It’s diabetes awareness month. I’m gonna make yall so aware just you wait

Breaking a bone as an adult is so fukin embarrassing like walking around with a cast on my arm?? Humbling. No one over the age of 13 should be breaking their bones

Adderall but u get it