Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc) header
Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc) profile picture

Former volunteer craft services for Compound Media. Gym rat & Navy dork.

Idaho, USA
Joined November 2014
Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)Photo by Andrea in Twin (@andreafromslc)
New PR of 195! Only 30 pounds off of my goal!! And already 25 pounds of progress this year alone.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
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I was talking to some Germans at the airport this morning. Americans and their accents always give them away, and they said I spoke German with a Brooklyn accent. I am BEAMING with pride right now.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Holy shit! I haven’t seen this clip. Wow. Dave laughing is exquisite.
This will never not be funny. Four years ago today! @AnthonyCumia @LandauDave @richieredding
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Every GOP strategist, consultant, and candidate should be forced to participate in a role-playing exercise this morning. Your name is Bob. You’re a 49-year-old blue-collar worker in Ohio. You’ve always struggled to make ends meet. The good jobs were all shipped to China and the few remaining pay a pittance wage, undercut by endless illegal labor. You’re a 3x Trump voter because you believed he would finally make America great again. You put your son through Ohio State. He graduated cum laude in computer science. You couldn’t have been prouder. After months searching, he landed an entry-level job at Microsoft. Beneath his qualifications, but a good start for a smart kid. Then he got laid off. That same month, Microsoft applied for 150,000 more H-1B visas because it can’t find qualified Americans. Your son has spent six months back in his childhood bedroom, sending hundreds of applications without landing an interview. On TV, Trump boasts about the greatest economy in history and how many women and minorities are finding jobs. You decide a father-son steak night might cheer him up. Gas is $4.50 a gallon. Filling your truck costs over $100. At Kroger, ribeyes are $30/lb. You settle for hamburger, even though 70/30 ground beef still costs $10+. At checkout, a fat black woman is screaming at the cashier because her EBT will only cover most of the filet mignon and lobster in her cart. You think to yourself how the Iran war has made everything expensive, but at least we’re stopping their nuclear bomb. You weren’t even sure where Iran was before you googled it after we first bombed them in March. After dinner, you take your son to the county fair. Half the people aren’t speaking English. Virtually none of the crowd looks like you. You’re forced to leave early after a “teen takeover” turns violent. A foreign born judge pledges none of them will go to jail. Back home, you turn on the TV. Vivek Ramaswamy is lecturing the crowd about American mediocrity and why Ohio needs more foreign talent. Your son grows upset. You change the channel. Now a Republican surrogate, the daughter of a governor or wife of an elderly billionaire, explains that young White men are the REAL welfare queens. They’d rather play videogames in their parents’ basements than work. Your son says nothing. He just goes back to his childhood bedroom. You turn off the TV. Then your neighbor starts blasting reggaeton and cracking open Modelos. He brought his cousin’s family from Mexico to help with all the minority-business contracts his construction firm keeps winning. Tonight they’re celebrating his nephew’s birth, the family’s first birthright American citizen. You sit alone in your living room. You worked hard, paid taxes, obeyed the law, and raised your son to do everything right. You voted Republican again and again because you believed somebody in Washington would finally fight for you. Instead, your wages are stagnant. Groceries are unaffordable. Your community is unrecognizable. Your country is fighting another foreign war. And upstairs, the son you sacrificed everything for is lying awake in the bedroom he slept in at twelve, wondering what the heck he’s even supposed to do with his life now. Every time you turn on the TV, the Republicans you elected are either congratulating themselves or explaining why you and your son are the problem. For ten years, they told you America’s future depended on your vote. Now you aren’t even sure America has a future worth defending. The Republican Party needs to answer one simple question this morning: You’ve spent a decade demanding Bob’s loyalty. You’ve given him stagnant wages, unaffordable groceries, another foreign war, and a son who did everything right but can’t find work. And when they complain, you call them lazy, entitled, and racist. What possible reason have you given Bob and his son to vote Republican? Do you honestly think you deserve their vote?
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Hell yes. Congratulations!!
Saturday, I pulled out the ring, and before I could ask, she threw her arms around me. Technically, I never got a yes, but she's still wearing it, so I guess we're doing this thing. Sunday, my offer on a beautiful house was accepted. We should be closing by Dec. God is real, you freaks.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Seaman Black went down with his ship when the Diala wreck was finally sunk by U-587 on March 23, 1942. @andreafromslc #CatKnownButToGod 🫡
Happy Halloween! In January 1942, the tanker Athelcrown was torpedoed, leaving 12 crewmen adrift in an open lifeboat. On the fifth day, the freezing men spotted a passing ship and called out for help, but they could only see a large black cat peering down at them. Two days later, the ship silently returned and got close enough for the men to board. The ship was abandoned, but the cat led the survivors to food and warm clothing. The men lived on the derelict vessel for eight days before being rescued by HMS Dahlia. The cat refused to leave, scratching and biting rescuers before disappearing into the ship’s bowels. Several months after the incident, other sailors still reported sightings of a ghost ship sailing with a black cat. True story! #cat #cats #caturday #halloween
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The TSA now asks if you have snacks in your bag. They are too fat to ask this without making it sound like a threat.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Whores for Shane ! 🇺🇸❤️🧘🏽‍♀️
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Baron Von Groom
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Outstanding!
I went to Chili's last night, and stayed to watch some of Boise State. My company's commercial, which I'M in, came on and I started cheering so everyone would look. I was the only one in there and I'm not allowed back. youtu.be/V0DkphLBnfA
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
My feed is full of furious condemnations of SNL wondering why Shane gets to host once a year. Most Saturday nights I see absolutely no coverage or tweets except a few highlights if they have a banger sketch. Get it now, you fucking reactionary dummies? I swear you can get more clapter inducing placating dog shit next week, just be patient.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Andrea’s the star of the show. Watch 👇
I went to Chili's last night, and stayed to watch some of Boise State. My company's commercial, which I'M in, came on and I started cheering so everyone would look. I was the only one in there and I'm not allowed back. youtu.be/V0DkphLBnfA
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I went to Chili's last night, and stayed to watch some of Boise State. My company's commercial, which I'M in, came on and I started cheering so everyone would look. I was the only one in there and I'm not allowed back. youtu.be/V0DkphLBnfA
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
They were surprised to learn that there was no life saving equipment in the… EXECUTION ROOM
There was no medical oxygen or mask in the execution chamber where Tennessee tried and failed to kill convicted murderer Christa Pike, which meant staff had to go and get it when things went wrong, according to a source who witnessed what happened. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/-me…
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2,557 days in a row of waking up without a hangover
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
This looks like a Taran Killam sketch that got bumped for time
You pay taxes to cover welfare for people who just choose not to work. That’s why I launched a welfare-to-work requirement. If you’re young, healthy, and get government assistance, you should work, go to school, or volunteer.
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Yeah they prioritize high traffic areas.
Replying to @timbutterly
They’re installing a flock up my ass rn
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Typical sailor. 😏 @andreafromslc
While the decommissioned HMS Warspite was waiting to be scrapped in the 1940s, Stripey remained on duty as the last member of the battleship's complement. Other cats were introduced to help combat rodents, but Stripey furiously chased them away because she was determined to keep Warspite a one-cat ship. When she finally retired, she made up for lost time by having 30 kittens in 15 months. #cat #cats #catlore
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Andrea in Twin retweeted
Here is the latest professional photos of Frankie MacDonald taken by professional photographer John Ratchford here they are again
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For a brief moment, I thought this was @StevieLewIsBack warning me about the dangers of AIDS liver
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