Andy Elleray

Graham Thorpe, England cricketer, with beautiful daughters, loving wife, family and friends. Took his own life. Too many men in particular, at a time when information is plentiful, charities on standby, text, phone and email services ready, are deciding to end their lives. Many reading this, like me will have hit very close to where Graham got but stopped short, just. It's a desperate, confusing and frightening experience mixed with a matter of factness that at the time feels sobering, you feel you're thinking and acting clearly but you're not. Graham's wife took the decision to tell the world of how Graham both lived and sadly died, in the hope that if you or someone you know are struggling you'll grab one of the branches set out below and contact someone who can and will help. When someone takes their life, there's a trail of pain, questions and few answers, but many of us know that anxiety and depression gets so bad that life simply doesn't feel worth living. In my case I was lucky, very lucky. I ran, and ran some more until clouds lifted, the anxiety moved away and I could think straight. Looking back I've been seconds away from death several times, so reading about Graham is incredibly confronting, upsetting and sobering as I'm sure it is for many. I didn't know Graham but his story is all too familiar. Anxiety and depression for men, particularly men, hides invisible as the forced machismo creates a mask, a shield. You laugh, you crack a joke, you "look" ok and you carry on. But then one day as if you were preparing a meal, you take stock, prepare your deed and, You take your life. Leaving others with a lifetime of pain. You don't mean to, it's the last thing you want, but it's the unintended consequences of a decision made, nonetheless. If you're reading this, and can relate to any of the above, firstly have 5 minutes to think of Graham, his children and his wife, they need all the love and support that can be sent their way. Then, if you're anxious, depressed, really struggling, ease know that my email is open to sound off, that charities such as the Samaritans are there 24/7, SANE charity phone line is open from 4pm to 10pm daily, MIND have drop in centres nationally and emergence services will always help on 999 or NHS 111. To Graham and his family, you're on my mind and the mind of many, and to those struggling, you're a second away from help even in your darkest hour. Protect life. Yours. Stand up. Speak out.