Best teaching eval comment this year year: "This prof thinks she is some kind of expert." Correct you are! Perhaps it's the PhD I earned.

Sounds great! Be the Vice Provost FOR FREE (in Florida, no less, which is a great place to be in higher ed)!

Really excited that the university is--again!--using athletics to bail out admissions. Coming soon: women's flag football. I'm sure that will solve our admission woes.

Do. Not. Fucking. Reply All. Dammit it all to hell.

Went up to an adjunct I didn't know recent. "Hi. I'm First & Last Name." "Hello," he responded. "I'm Dr. Smith. What do you do here?" "I'm the Dean of the college." He smiles. "No. Really." "Really, Dr. Smith. But I never introduce myself with a title. That's not my name."

On my drive to work today I saw a pick up truck with two stickers on its back window. One read, "Don't Follow Me: I Do Stupid Shit." The other was a Trump sticker. So noted, good sir.

Everyone knows the Associate Dean is the motor and the Dean is but the face.

I look forward to making fun of people who spend $34 (+ shipping!) on this premium t-shirt. "Limited edition, let's do some simple addition/Fifty dollars for a T-shirt, that's just some ignorant bitch shit/I call that getting-swindled-and-pimped shit" secure.winred.com/save-ameri…

I now really enjoy the angry tweets from former colleagues at my former institution. It's nice to know that their tomfuckery misery continues in my absence.

Full confession: I don't have any of my syllabi done, and I don't think I'm going to by the first day of classes either. Not as long as their is tequila in the house.

Okay, friends; I need to give a presentation for first year students about some things they should know about university. Anyone want to share a tidbit of something they wish they would have known when they started college?

It is amazing how quickly all of my plagiarism cases have pivoted to AI. And some of it is so easy to detect it’s laughable.

The answer to all your questions is money.

Just for the sake of pissing off The Elon, I think we should organize a Twitter Dark Day and see what happens. I propose Election Day. LET’S GO DARK!

Pro tip: don’t use Pods. Perhaps the worst decision I ever made ( and I decided to get an advanced degree in the humanities, so this means something).

Some of the plagiarism cases I have see so early in this semester are so egregious the border on criminal and insulting.

Just arrived at a new gig and I’m surprised beyond measure that the provost is not a complete asshole and seems to be a kind human being. My last VPAA was so cold I was convinced she was a damn android. Humanity in academic leadership is rare indeed.

I blessedly low $125 per semester. But we do have payroll deduction!