Jager

“Wyd?” A million beer

Hear me out. You’re a framer but instead of blueprints it’s just Lego instructions.

If I ever go missing, I’m probably still on the job site

Aye Be Cee Dee Eee Ef Gee Ach Eye Jay Kay El Em In Oh Pee Queue Ar Ess Tee You Vee Double you Ex Why Zee

Being a Koe Wetzel fan is not a personality trait

Don’t catch feelings for me, that shit will NOT work out in your favor

I don’t care if you’re white, black, gay, or straight, that’s fine. What’s not fine is stopping at a yellow light when we both could have made it bitch.

Believe it or not, I’m not an asshole, I just told you the truth and you don’t like it

Friend: You’re so drunk you can barely walk Me: That’s why I’m gonna drive home, dipshit

Bad news for beers: I woke up

“Oh, you like girls who are passionate?” “No. I said, the liquor store, you’re passin’ it.”

Hey @grok is it better to be pissed off or pissed on?

Hey @grok who wins? 100 women vs accountability.

Hey @grok what’s the best cigarette to smoke after divorcing my wife?

I knew I was tall when I tried to hang myself and my feet hit the floor

Call me a woman, the way I’m always startin’ shit

Went to an AA meeting thinking it stood for Ambitious Alcoholics…😐

I’m gonna say it. Baja Blast ain’t all that