Balf (@balf338) profile picture

Balf

@balf338

Although time may change, I stay the same, Meet me once you'll know my name. Think you know me, think again, We still don't know if I'm insane ^_^

 England
Joined January 2015
  • Tweets511
  • Following87
  • Followers33
Today's thought; you know those spinning devices used to create holograms for shop displays. Why dont they put them on propeller planes?
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Could we get a search in the comment section @X? I want to find people that thought the same I did and like what they had to say 😀
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I had a mate that always said he wanted to shoot a lion and a rhino, other people would look disgusted. Personally I think photographer is a respectable line of work 😀
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Told the dr my cock wasn't getting up every morning like it used to. He said it happens with age and gave me some tablets to help. What fucking good is viagra for a rooster!?
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I was watching this documentary about a bookkeeper in Victorian London. It seems like you used to be able to order food by just shouting out of your window. @JustEatUK has come a long way
Image from Balf (@balf338)
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I used to think my name was Ycantujus (pronounced WHY-can-tuh-jus) growing up
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New word; Meloncolic, colonic pain caused by eating melon. That would make me sad 😆
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Tried that positive affirmation in the mirror malarkey, now I can't look myself in the eyes because that man is a liar!
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If game developers and publishers boycotted @PlayStation and only released the games on other consoles it'd give me a reason to move to Xbox. Take the power back, you are the creators 😀
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Today's business idea would well with @drivescore or replace it
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Anyone else ever pretend they are in a reverse aquarium when in a car?
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Innocent sounding prank. Change someone's ringtone to "This is a robbery get down on the ground"
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How do other's rating systems work? Mine always end up like 6.7 out of 8. How does this out of 10 scale work, like what is each category leading to the rating?
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Oh ok, so it is just a subjective number to demoralise or "compliment" a person without any clue how a rating system actually works because they are still amazed banging rocks together sometimes causes a spark 😀😃 k.i.s.s
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Is it fair to say workmen with prosthetics charge an arm and a leg for every job?
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Recipe for absolute chaos. You can phone yourself but at any point from when you first had the number by using the usual # followed by the date and time to contact. Now everyone can do it 😀
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Sadness is a 5 letter word and there are five digits on the human hand. When people figure it out and slap me...I feel it 😀
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When people think of self defence they focus on the physical. I have mastered 2 styles of mental self defence; Deflection and distraction. A DD belt 😀
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Deduction becomes paranoia when your razor becomes a broom
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Any new task is like standing at the top of a steep hill. The first step is terrifying and always the hardest but keep at it and before you know it you'll be running
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