.,,

A good friend of mine was married, and his wife was being persistently harassed by a man who kept asking her to meet him privately. No matter how many times she said no, he refused to take the hint. So she came up with a rather unusual plan. She bought some Tootsie Rolls, rolled them together, and pressed them into shapes that looked exactly like human faeces. She then sewed a small pocket inside her dress and placed the fake turds in it. One day, she walked down the street, knowing the man would eventually approach her. Sure enough, he showed up. She looked at him and said, “We'll start with a French kiss, but first, there's something I like to do to get myself in the mood.” She squatted down, grunted, reached into the hidden pocket, pulled out the fake turds, and started eating them. The man watched in horror, gagged, and ran away. He was never seen again.