funny dad, zero kids

New York, NY
Joined January 2009
Someone in the stall next to me came into the stall, pantsed, sat, went, wiped and washed up before I even got my TikTok open. I’m honestly shook.
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Meta just announced it will be eliminating all beta testing in favor of alpha testing #meta #facebook #zuck
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In her first act in charge of education, Linda McMahon will bring back the pledge of allegiance and chair shots.
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The Bear is a comedy and Shawshank was a comedy #EmmyAwards #thebear
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Biden is out and Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese high fived. A weekend for the books
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Don’t forget. Trump is a WWE hall of famer.
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Apartment hunting in nyc: It’s the perfect place for us!! Only problem is there is a woman living in the basement that can only enter and exit from under your bed. And a 10 month broker fee.
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Elon about to get his account suspended for being a parody of an innovator.
Solved the Elon problem: let existing verified users keep the check for free. Charge anyone new who wants one a monthly fee. Keep top users and let desperate people (prob me) join the vip club.
Time for an all new Weekly Roundup! My guest this week is comedian @bigmanmike. Mike Albanese. @nickhoff, @Maraliq, and @AndyFiori join in too. Fun starts at 10am ET with encores all weekend on @SIRIUSXM @SiriusXMComedy Channel 97. Mike's Website: inmyownhead.com/
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Delta is Coke and American Airlines is Pepsi
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College should be free for the next century based on all the money they scammed out of us
The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is by a doctor with a gooder gun.
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I heard from a high level exec at @FoxNews that in fact, @TuckerCarlson can not read.
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Pumped for big box stores to pretend to be gay this month #pride
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“Mike Albanese was fired from his family after recent allegations surfaced that he called his mom a doo doo head after being told to pick up his toys.” -The Hollywood Reporter
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