@bryceb

Consulting programmer, obedient subject to a dog & cat, personal chef to one. WA ➡️ ATX

 Austin, TX
Joined March 2007
  • Tweets11.6K
  • Following1.2K
  • Followers545
740Media
TV Screen: “You saved my child’s life by buying a Hyundai.” [person awkwardly looks down at keys] “Um... it’s a rental.” #SuperBowl #Hyundai
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Commentary: By censuring Texas House Speaker Joe Straus, Texas #GOP proves it has abandoned the interests of the people | @reedgalen dallasnews.com/opinion/comme…
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President Trump reads prepared remarks. #SOTU
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Megan Amram
@meganamram31 Jan 2018
Today was the day Donald trump finally became president
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WeRateDogs
@dog_rates31 Jan 2018
This is Luna. She wants you to know she’s actually very tough. Only uses her human’s feet for comfort in the scariest of circumstances. 12/10
tiny pug hugging her human’s foot

ALT tiny pug hugging her human’s foot

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WeRateDogs
@dog_rates30 Jan 2018
This is Trigger. He does not know what happened to the trash can. Offended that you would even ask him. 12/10 no further questions
adorable pitbull with his head stuck in a trash can

ALT adorable pitbull with his head stuck in a trash can

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Hend Amry
@LibyaLiberty28 Jan 2018
worst. rap beef. ever. xitter.cf/realdonaldtrump/status…
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump28 Jan 2018
Somebody please inform Jay-Z that because of my policies, Black Unemployment has just been reported to be at the LOWEST RATE EVER RECORDED!
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Jess Dweck@TheDweck25 Jan 2018
TRUMP: Melania, come with me on a trip to Europe MELANIA: No, I want to do something less depressing xitter.cf/thehill/status/9565741…
The Hill
@thehill25 Jan 2018
Melania visits Holocaust Museum while Trump is in Davos hill.cm/zWs8loN
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Welcome to #WakandaWednesday! Leading up to the film's premiere, I will be showcasing YOUR #BlackPanther cosplay every Wednesday. First up is the Children of Wakanda! They might have more swagger in the costumes than @ChadwickBoseman and I do... #Regram #MarvelHeaux
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Ken Jennings
@KenJennings24 Jan 2018
The next hurricane or whatever is going to be because God thinks Edgar Martinez should be in the Hall of Fame.
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Steve Inskeep
@NPRinskeep23 Jan 2018
$12 per month for a checking account? Some math: If you have $1,000 in the account, $12 is 1.2% of it—per month. Multiply by 12 months: people without much money are charged an annual rate of 14.4% for the bank to hold their money and process checks. xitter.cf/laura_nelson/status/95…
Laura J. Nelson
@laura_nelson22 Jan 2018
Bank of America will charge low-income customers $12 per month for their checking accounts unless they have a $1,500 account balance or monthly direct deposits of at least $250: wsj.com/articles/bankofameri…

Bank of America: No More Free Checking for Customers With Low Balances

Bank of America has eliminated a free checking account popular with some lower-income customers, requiring them to keep more money at the bank to avoid a monthly fee.

wsj.com
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WeRateDogs
@dog_rates21 Jan 2018
This is Benny. He got the pillow for his birthday. Slightly dispuppointed you didn’t edit away his grey hairs. Still loves it, though. 13/10 #SeniorPupSaturday
old grey faced golden lying on a pillow with a picture of himself on it

ALT old grey faced golden lying on a pillow with a picture of himself on it

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Matt Novak@paleofuture20 Jan 2018
tfw you’re definitely talking with another person over the phone
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Dan Diamond
@ddiamond19 Jan 2018
Sign of the times: There’s a 5,000-word interview where a porn star details sex with the president, and it’s mostly greeted with shrugs and chuckles.
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Samantha Bee
@realsambee16 Jan 2018
The face of someone who has seen Trump naked.
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The Onion
@TheOnion16 Jan 2018
Report: Getting Out Of Bed In Morning Sharply Increases Risk Of Things Getting Even Worse trib.al/rAvlvo7
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FUN QUIZ! xitter.cf/ewg/status/95265909767…
EWG@ewg14 Jan 2018
Search your zip code to see if the radioactive contaminant radium is in your drinking water! bit.ly/2EtBJv0 #drinkingwater
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MC Stardust@Summer_Ash14 Jan 2018
This hits sooooooo close to home. GUYS DO NOT DO THIS EVER. xitter.cf/Jenjen19725/status/952…
This Post is from a suspended account. Learn more
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Maria Bamford
@mariabamfoo14 Jan 2018
Such a sweet thread about @theladydynamite show by writer @brilerose. xitter.cf/BriLeRose/status/95231…
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Cody Keenan@codykeenan12 Jan 2018
Congrats, you’re the first American Commander-in-Chief to surrender to the British. xitter.cf/realdonaldtrump/status…
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump12 Jan 2018
Reason I canceled my trip to London is that I am not a big fan of the Obama Administration having sold perhaps the best located and finest embassy in London for “peanuts,” only to build a new one in an off location for 1.2 billion dollars. Bad deal. Wanted me to cut ribbon-NO!
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