Lucy Caton (@catonious) header
Lucy Caton (@catonious) profile picture

Bon vivant 🍷 Chelsea supporter ⚽️ Cat servant 🐱 Ravenclaw 🐦‍⬛

Birmingham, England
Joined February 2009
Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)Photo by Lucy Caton (@catonious)
Everyone's talking about the John Lewis advert. But it’s nothing compared to this masterpiece from Thorne Travel. Power-walking travel agents. A flash mob. Pumping house music. And unofficial Disney characters. Every time you think they’ve run out of ideas, another one arrives.
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421 years ago today, the Gunpowder Plot was foiled in the cellars beneath the House of Lords. More than four centuries later, the event is still marked at the State Opening of Parliament, when the Yeomen of the Guard ceremonially search the cellars before the King arrives.
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Patrick was one of those icons who we somehow all took for granted would always be with us. I grew up as a fan, and was later gifted the privilege of becoming a colleague and friend, working with him for many years on “American Dad!”, “Family Guy”, and “Ted”. He was that rare actor who could take any bit of dialogue and elevate it, making a good writer sound great, and a great writer sound masterful. He was also as humble as they come. I remember exchanging emails with him a number of years ago when he was beginning day 1 of a new film. He commented to me that he always walked onto a new set feeling like the biggest novice there. My stunned reaction was the same as anyone’s would be. I said, “Patrick, if you feel that way, the rest of us are screwed.” We have lost a legendary actor today, and for many of us, a good friend. He will be deeply missed by the entire planet.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
The electorate aren’t goldfish. Our memories are long enough to recall June 2024, when you declared that trans-identified men with penises should be able to use women’s public bathrooms. It took a Supreme Court ruling to force you to uphold women’s rights, and now you pose as our bold champion? Please.
The time for talk has long passed. This government is putting its money where its mouth is when it comes to supporting women and girls. We'll back practical action to confine misogyny to the history books - in public services, workplaces, and online. theguardian.com/society/2026…
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Goodness me 15 years ago. Thank goodness we defeated it, given how things have changed in the past few years!
15 years ago today, the epic @pitchowners SGM where the club's attempt to buy back the Stamford Bridge freehold was defeated by CPO shareholders at a highly charged meeting. Those supporters who were there are unlikely to forget it
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I haven’t posted here for ages, but I want people to share my wife’s GoFundMe if possible. She has been wonderful in the most important roles in life – as a mother, grandmother and a teacher. Please donate if you can. Thanks gofund.me/5e34e0fa3
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The Tricolore textbooks did not prepare us for all this shit going off in France. The most exciting thing that ever happened in La Rochelle was Annette falling off her bike or Philippe enjoying a particularly tense game of le badminton down l'auberge de jeunesse.
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On this day in 1963, a cat named Félicette became a feline space traveler when she launched into space on a mission conducted by the French space program. The spaceflight, which Félicette survived, was suborbital and lasted less than 15 minutes.
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99% of women and girls in Somalia have been mutilated in the following way: the clitoris is cut off, along with the inner labia. Then the inner flesh of the outer labia is removed before both sides are sewn tightly together, leaving a hole no bigger than a matchstick for urine and menses to trickle through. All of this is done in childhood, and without any form of anesthesia whatsoever. Sometimes the little girl is given a scrap of leather or a stick to bite down on. The cutters use old razor blades, or sometimes a piece of broken glass. This is only the beginning of a girl’s pain. Most wedding nights in Somalia are aided by “the little knife” — that is, the new husband slices his bride open so that he can penetrate her now cut and bleeding scar tissue. Some men, however, simply batter their way through, tearing that tiny hole open by sheer force. When a woman goes into labor, she’s cut open more widely, then sewn back up afterwards so that when sex resumes she will have to be cut open yet again. This practice leads to countless deaths from infection and a drastic increase in maternal mortality, but Somali men still refuse to marry uncut women, forcing mothers to have their daughters cut or face social stigma. Uncut girls are seen as dirty; the term for clitoris is a playground taunt in Somalia, and girls who are not cut are usually ostracized by their peers. The Somali government recently debated the legality of this appalling custom, and the parliament largely split along gender lines. Female MPs roundly condemned FGM, while male MPs insisted that having a clitoris made a woman more difficult to penetrate, and quoted the hadith in which Muhammad condoned the practice. These are educated men who nevertheless claim that cutting a girl is necessary in order to control her sexuality, and that an uncut woman will be promiscuous and untrustworthy. In spite of the Somali government’s continued support for FGM, foreign aid continues to flow into Somalia unobstructed. The West should refuse to give the Somali government so much as a single dollar until they outlaw FGM and take positive steps to combat the problem. One tactic that has been highly successful involves showing Somali men a video of a girl being mutilated. Because FGM is seen as women’s business, most men have no idea what it entails. Men who watch this video are horrified, and the most common reaction has been “Not my daughter!” This proves that FGM is not hopelessly entrenched in Somali culture. Western pressure and resources could make an enormous difference in the lives of Somali women and girls, and put a stop to this barbaric practice.
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We owe £3 trillion. We spend more on working-age benefits than we raise in income tax. Our social security budget is five times our actual security budget. And these two are pretending to be gap-year vloggers in Bangkok.
🚨 WATCH: Ed Miliband and John Healey try Thai snacks while riding a Tuk Tuk around Bangkok
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This was October 7.
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To all those attending the Pro-Palestinian march in London today; I hope the heavens open on you, you develop blisters which get infected & your keffiyeh forever smells of wet dog. I genuinely mean that. You awful human beings. 💋
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Lucy Caton retweeted
It’s October 3rd 💝
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Pardon me for not giving two fucks about what happens to Man City.
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The best idea I've heard to date on suitable punishments for @ManCity is to require the sale of the club. After all, that is what happened to @ChelseaFC simply because Abramovich was Russian & mooted to have ties with Putin. Those ties weren't voluntary. City's breaches were
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If they’re going to remove 11 sketches from That Mitchell and Webb Look on iPlayer because ‘the comedy doesn’t work in 2026,’ can they please remove Mrs. Brown’s Boys too because ‘the comedy doesn’t work unless you’ve had a full frontal lobotomy.’
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Lucy Caton retweeted
Todd Boehly banner for sale. Used once, excellent condition. No reasonable offer refused or part exchange for a decent midfield player.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
🚨 WATCH: Andy Burnham is mocked in the opener of #SNLUK series 2
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Lucy Caton retweeted
We’re in a bizarre phase where knowing exactly who the women are and pretending to not know who the women are is happening simultaneously and both positions are being used to punish women.
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Lucy Caton retweeted
No. Just women have periods...
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