The worst thing about using a phone in the dark is that it lights your face without lighting your surroundings. Scrolling, hyper-visible but blind; I like to pretend I'm an anglerfish lure, the beacon of a predator much greater than myself

The results are in: AI invitations are insufficient for establishing vampiric right of entry. However, there have been several cases of whales successfully inviting vampires into aquariums

Replacing my hardwood flooring with a planar black hole. With fire. With a deep pit of plastic globes, with wax the color of raw chicken, with medieval tapestries, with numbers so small they cut your feet

It's telemicroscopy. We have discovered single-celled organisms as vast as galaxies, gleaming in deep space, cilia hungrily churning

Slide between sizes of body, mind—spend a while as god, a while as slime, stretched between galaxies, soulless and bright... Be a star's dog, die in a fight, live as an angel, live as a place, live as an insect with a human face

Hello, chickenfolk. Long time lurker, first time chicken-keeper. Sorry if this Q is stupid.. So, my rooster learned a spell that teleports him out of the coop. He taught it to 5 other chickens. Do I need to purchase orb of magic negation (expensive) or are there better solutions

I want to visit the dreams of my great-great-great-grandchildren, and crawl through their sleep-warped modernity, and infer the future from its projected neural playhouse

Biggest difference from urban vs. rural childhood is in property of dream megastructures—whether the oneiric dolmens are right-angled or organic, conceptually seeded by old trees and fields or escalators through megamall atria

They should give all the kindergarteners miniature gamer chairs. Swivel base, neck support, wireless RGB, foam everywhere. Sippy cup holders. Wheels

Okay, but what if the vizier had big wet eyes. What if the vizier had soft hair. What if the vizier was slightly incompetent, short-tempered, very sleepy. Would you still execute it for treason

ladies, there is no future with these NICEGUYs (Not in Immortality, Cryonics, Extropy, Genemodding, Uploading, Youth-preservation)

Trees are maidens every spring, mothers every autumn, and crones every winter. No matter how large, they awaken innocent; no matter how young, they grow old

small models are self-replicating in my notebook

I can explain: I thought, wouldn't jack-o'-lanterns be easier if we engineered a pumpkin with bioluminescent innards? Then I thought, well, let's give it flashing photophores. But to coordinate the photophores, the pumpkin required neural tissue,

Creature which masquerades as a rainstorm; but underneath it you would notice that nothing gets wet, that the clouds are strangely furred, and that the droplets have pupils

Piano doesn't sound right—investigate. Turns out fairies have been laying under the keys as part of their suicide rite

This may seem inhumane, but the fairies love it. They yearn to split, merge, deform, shatter, throw themselves into blenders, eat magnets, be encased, etc. When pouring foundation you have to set up a zapper or so many fairies will dive into the cement that they'll compromise its material integrity

Three points are not enough. Now is the time for the twelve-pointed seatbelt; like an occult star clamping you to the seat, like a gray polyp between your body and the road—you will not merely survive the impact. You will THRIVE