Philip M. Carava

Every. Single. Time. Love a shanked punt for this reason.

Evergreen.

So I ain’t fresh?

Out of the blue, my bride just asked if I’ve ever watched the Red Zone channel. Roommates and I were our own original RZ with multiple TVs and NFL Ticket package 20 years ago. Then she suggested we get it, and I can’t imagine many (any?) wives EVER doing that. How lucky am I?

My hometown deserves all the ridicule it receives but this is some top notch wholesomeness. Also, this is NOT why the team’s nickname is the Boomers. cbsnews.com/amp/chicago/news…

Has anyone ever made a bad decision while tips in a foreign land?

Doomscrolling so long I no longer remember how I used to punish myself before joining this hellhole. Yay! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Annual reminder Chicago winters are fine but spring is by far the worst season.

Flipping channels and stumbled across a countdown…to a f’ing countdown! WHY?!

Looking forward to extending my undefeated streak of not being dragged to pick apples to 37 years this fall. #KeepIt

When @KrisBryant_23 does anything good it feels like @Cubs fans are the desperate boyfriend begging to keep the girl they took for granted and eventually drove away. Finally realized she’s great and they won’t find anyone like her, but she’s over it and has emotionally moved on.

Not sure which rule bothers me more, baseball’s man on second in the 10th inning or FINRA’s pattern daytrading rule.

Unfortunately, seems appropriate to throwback to the time I upset a whole theme party in New York because none of them thought to be Shock G.

Throwback to last Sunday when we split a Jacks pizza for breakfast at 1pm and then ordered pizza for dinner a few hours later. #TBS

If watching copious amounts of @NFL football and @MarchMadnessTV has taught me anything, it's that the @GEICO aunt problem commercial is far more clever than any sitcom CBS has tried to shove down our throats since maybe MASH. Prove me wrong.

Her: What am I making for dinner tonight? Me: It’s a Yucatán citrus chicken bowl Her: Sounds like a game Nebraska would play in Me: Ha very clever, if they still went to bowl games (says the Illinois fan)

You should watch dis a couple a two tree times.