Trump: My wife says, you shouldn't be dancing on the stage, by the way. You should walk off with a gentle wave. Goodbye. When the gay national anthem plays, you know, it's called the gay national anthem, actually. I got the highest gay vote of any Republican in history. She said, 'You should not dance off the stage, my darling.' And don't talk about the swimming. Where you look left and you look right, and then you look a little further right and you see the largest human being you've ever seen. Larger than Shaquille O'Neal, with a bigger reach. And the swimmer got hurt badly because she suffered massive wind burn. Because the giant to her right swam by her so fast that the wind was unbelievable. For the rest of her life, she'll be suffering from windburn.

Trump catches a glimpse of his thinning hair: Wait a minute. I'm not happy right now. Getting a little bit thin up there. This is not good news. Now I'm depressed. This is not good. Why didn't you tell me?