Dan Cooke

I've seen lots of talk about slavery these last few days, and the same questions keep coming up: should Britain pay reparations, and should we apologise? This thread is the facts about Britain's part in the slave trade and how we ended it. Britain was a big part of it. We carried about 3.3 million of the 12.5 million people taken across the Atlantic, roughly a quarter. That should be taught. 1/5

Thick Thursday recap. Bonfire Night: the one evening a year we celebrate the only man who ever went into Parliament with a plan. The Bank of England puts rates to 4%, the first rise in over three years, and says inflation's heading for 5%. Your mortgage has noticed. Your wages haven't. Burnham's watered-down 10-year plan is reportedly delayed. Turns out ten years wasn't long enough to write it. Slavery apology talks are now 'time-bound'. Unlike the queue at your GP. Barnier says we could rejoin the EU and keep the pound. Keep the pound, lose the vote. YouGov: Labour 26, Tories 24, Reform 21. Farage calls the polls 'jiggery-pokery'. Fair. So's most of what they're measuring. Stormont's budget is stuck after seven months, but MLAs found time to row about their pay. Remember, remember the 5th of November. They're counting on you forgetting by the next election. #BonfireNight #Inflation

Wacky Wednesday recap. The PM's been bashing a steel drum in Antigua. First time this government's hit anything it was aiming at. Welfare's heading for £183bn, more than defence, schools and police combined. Ministers say it'll come down. So did my weight, mate. Burnham reckons cutting benefits could drive people to crime. Nice little country you've got there. Shame if something happened to it. The EU reset could ban smoky bacon crisps because there's no bacon in them. By that logic Labour's growth plan goes next. Poundland: no plans to nationalise, won't rule it out, minister "misspoke", ruled out. Four positions in one day. Even their U-turns come from the bargain bin. Up to £450m a year so EU students pay less at our unis. Meanwhile only 6 of London's 30 Thames bridges are in good or fair nick. Now they want their mitts on 17 million people's pensions. I wouldn't trust this lot with my Nectar points. Same time tomorrow. Bring crisps while they're still legal. #EUReset #Labour

Tedious Tuesday recap. The King went to Antigua, called slavery a monstrous injustice, reminded everyone the Royal Navy ended it, and didn't apologise. Burnham's Government wants a consultation on banning sauce sachets to line up with EU rules. The borders are wide open, but the ketchup's getting checked. Rachel Reeves left the Treasury and immediately decided the answer is rejoining the EU. Usually you clear your desk, not the country's. Rupert Lowe told the Chancellor in the Commons that Britain is bankrupt. Ministers looked shocked, like a man getting his own bank statement. YouGov: Labour 26, Tories 24, Reform 21. Three parties within five points, and still nobody's winning. Tomorrow they'll apologise for Tuesday. #Reparations #Slavery #KingCharlesIII

Miserable Monday recap. Mahmood scrapped the 15-year settlement wait for care workers who arrived before May 2025. Back to five. The crackdown had the shelf life of a Halloween pumpkin. She also dropped the plan to stop migrants claiming benefits once settled. Tough on migration, as long as nobody objects. The PM ruled out reparations but is open to more aid and debt relief. Sorry, but not that sorry. The government jet bound for the Caribbean detoured to Manchester to pick him up. Even the plane's doing U-turns now. Reform's Leicestershire council leader quit after a leaked recording. They want the country and can't keep a county. Labour MPs say the PM betrayed the miners after a £1.2bn payout went missing from the Budget. Even the miners never dug a hole that deep. Labour promised to control immigration. Today it controlled a backbench revolt. Close enough, apparently. #Boriswave #Reparations #PoliticsLive

Sorry-for-ourselves Sunday recap. A Treasury minister says employers aren't "working people". Tell that to the bloke doing payroll at midnight so she can tax it in the morning. Rachel Reeves, who stood on a manifesto ruling out the single market, now says our future's in the EU. Never the driver, always the road. 10,000 small boats since Burnham moved in on 20 July, 1,600 in four days. Labour says crossings are down. So's the wind. Sadiq Khan's A20 limit fined 66,000 drivers, and the order was signed by someone with no authority. Cameras on every driver, none on the paperwork. The King will speak about slavery with "sincere sorrow". The one who should be sorry is in Number 10. Virgin Media O2 is cutting thousands of jobs. Don't worry, the bosses aren't working people. Back to work tomorrow. Unless you employ anyone, in which case you don't count. #Burnham #Brexit #LabourOut

Spooky Saturday recap. Burnham's "open" to apologising for the slave trade, but rules out paying. Sorry, but not that sorry. Britain banned the trade in 1807 and sent the Navy to stop everyone else. Funny how that bit never makes the speech. Healey on Labour's pledge to scrap the youth minimum wage gap: "one step at a time". Backwards, mostly. The IFS says the frozen thresholds pull 6.75m more people into income tax and 6m into the higher rates. £71bn, and no tax rise announced. Magic. Mahmood's settlement crackdown is reportedly going soft on care workers before it's even started. Burnham's old office lobbied for a broadband deal that helps the Man City chairman's fund. Lovely connection. And 30-odd senior Tories are named in the Covid PPE VIP lane records. Hancock referred 27 firms. That lane had more traffic than the M5. Happy Halloween. The scariest thing on telly is Healey and Badenoch on Laura K at 9 tomorrow. #Halloween #BBCLauraK

This is a perfect analogy.

Fed-up Friday recap. Keir Starmer left Downing Street and stayed in an £18.35m flat owned by Lord Alli, the Labour donor. Most of us leave a job and get a card and a Colin the Caterpillar. Labour won a Dudley ward by two votes. Two. Reform blamed Restore. Easier than finding two more voters. Restore Britain got 7% in its first ever Scottish election. Not bad for a party that's apparently a Tory plot. The IFS says household incomes face the worst decade on record. The government says it has a 10-year plan. Might be the same thing. 12,000 Poundland jobs at risk, and suddenly every MP has heard of it. A Green MP is expected on the BBC on Sunday to say his party forgot the environment. Polanski spent today worrying about the climate. Awkward Monday. And Burnham called Rachel Reeves the Chancellor. She isn't. Can't blame him. Nobody can tell them apart. #UKPolitics #Poundland

Thoughtless Thursday recap. The Chancellor raised duty on beer, then went to a Westminster pub and downed one in one on camera. Most people wait till the robbery's over before they celebrate. Poundland has filed to appoint administrators, with 12,000 jobs at risk. Its owner bought it for a quid. Turns out even that was overpriced. The Treasury won't commit to cutting welfare before the election. Funny how the hard decisions always get scheduled for after we've voted. The Chancellor also reminded everyone "we had a referendum, we're out." So now the PM's being fact-checked by his own Chancellor. That's what passes for unity these days. Four by-elections tonight, polls close at ten. Labour's been closing since Wednesday lunchtime. Same again tomorrow? Not the pint, obviously. Can't afford it. #Budget2026 #UKBudget #Poundland

Woeful Wednesday recap: Thresholds frozen till 2031, so your next pay rise now works for the Treasury. £100 for council tax bands A to D. The band checker crashed. First government website people have ever queued to use. Bills are forecast up about £300 in January. Martin Lewis called the £100 "the least worst way to do it". Put that on the side of a bus. Gas standing charge "abolished". Translation: moved onto the unit rate. Not a cut, a relocation. £10bn for Ukraine, and every department told to find 1% down the sofa for our own defence. Farage skipped it to avoid a fight. Burnham ruled out an election for a year. Liz Truss called it a nothing burger, and she knows a crash when she sees one. They called it breathing space. Fair enough. It's the one thing they haven't found a way to tax. Yet. #Budget2026 #StealthTax

Budget for normal families, translated: £100 once. Maybe £45 off gas. Thresholds frozen till 2031, so a 3% rise on £35k loses about £123 extra a year to the freeze. Tickles your balls with one hand, rummages in your arse pocket for spare change with the other.#Budget2026

Burnham's big 100-day achievement is cheaper gherkins. Which is great if the problem was that nobody could afford a gherkin.

Miserable Monday recap. Reform launched an Economic Rescue Plan. They'll rescue the economy as soon as they've rescued the room booking. Healey ordered the Cabinet to find cuts. Nobody suggested the obvious one. Rachel Reeves was referred to the standards adviser. Nice to know Westminster still keeps one in stock. We were told to stock up for emergencies. Beans and water sold out. First target this government's hit all year. 58% of us wouldn't fight for Britain. To be fair, we've seen who'd be giving the orders. Starmer's lot blamed No 10's layout. Never the people. Always the furniture. Sadiq spent £150m making Oxford Street traffic-free. Shop-free is phase two. No 10 ruled out free movement at lunchtime and was in talks by teatime. The Budget's on Wednesday. I'd buy more beans. #Budget2026 #ukpolitics #OxfordStreet

Unpopular opinion: the vote should go to those who put something in. That covers work, volunteering, caring for family, raising kids, serving in the forces, or a lifetime of it before retiring. Anyone who can't work through illness or disability keeps theirs, of course. Should voting come with contributing? #UKPolitics #RestoreBritain