non practicing solipsist 🥖🌹
pdx
Joined May 2016
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my mom getting excited about her mini pistachio shell boat 😭 how is this is the same woman who used to be beating everyone up 😭😭😭
just got so annoyed about a petty disagreement that i bought a 500 page book on the topic and i’ve just been in my room reading and seething
sometimes being on the internet is like hmm let me look up this normal feature that i have so i can see ppl who look like me and then all the search results are like TOP TEN PLASTIC SURGERIES TO FIX THE UGLY DISGUSTING BIRTH DEFECT THAT IS YOUR NATURAL FACE
the cochair of pdx dsa was my landlord and the cochair of ydsa national punched me in the face #friendsinhighplaces
aria❣️ retweeted
lately i’ve been doing what i like to call evil CBT where i look in the mirror and say things like “you're not special enough to be the ugliest person in the world” and it works better than the regular kind for me honestly
aria❣️ retweeted
Lowkey when a woman talks about her incompetent idiot husband he always sounds like me
aria❣️ retweeted
[reading the teleprompter] And we love it when it’s over, don’t we, folks? Love it when it’s over. When it’s gone away without hope of resuscitation or redemption or reunion. When there’s no reason to look back. But we always do, don’t we, folks? We always do
