destroy__evil @destroy__evil

pauper bitches be cracking Relic of Progesterone

this shit bringing me out of retirement

trying 2 get really good at melee so: if there are any seriousss melee marth mains (uk preff.) that wish to take me under their wing for practice n stuff that would be so chill ^_- been playing for 9 months and hitting a little bit of a wall i want to get so good thank you 🫶

never interacting with a vintage cube player again. why this mf talk about 'flashing' their 'wurm' at me... ??

😭😭😭

close second: if you see one of these on the table Ur getting played into next banlist

[the worst player you have ever met]: full max rarity foiled out deck, triple art sleeved [the best player currently in the room]: a Channel Fireball deckbox so old it could legally qualify for a Veteran's discount

you think you're a staple whole time she got you in the sideboard 😭😭

getting an adderall prescription so I can hand shuffle cards in my opponents face faster

dominarian shawty asked me to book the Skyship Weatherlight for her. nah hoe u going home in an Ornithopter

can u gguys like this one im trying to break out of the curse where people only like me for my Mid-Level Magic he Gathering Grinder quips (fate i wouldnt wish born upon my greatest adversary)

CLAIM 🙏

Delver of Secrets so washed he flipping nothing but burgers now

'Magic players are all gay' yeah bitch it's called a Trade Card Game for a reason

'Counting or not counting Commander Damage?'

dudes will bring their girlfriend to the RCQ and give her the worse out of the two decks they own. are you a real lover or not