@dialMforMorgan
Joined May 2014
  • Tweets66
  • Following28
  • Followers29
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Well, today's the 4th day in a row I've gotten an automated call about "special offers" from @ATT before sunrise. Blocking that shit.
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people who drive PT Cruisers never take off their socks during sex
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LADIES. MAKE YOUR CHOICES.
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"i like how on youtube you turned off comments to show how weak women are because you cant take one or two rape jokes.” #hatemailoftheday
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hello darkness my old friend. what? drive you to the airport? I CANT HEAR YOU. BAD…CONNECTION…TALK TO YOU LATER
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We didn’t wanna do this but the Feminist Gaming Illuminati had a meeting & we’re taking your games away until you can be decent human beings
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If you live in LA but you've never given road head, you are a bad passenger.
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No matter how fat I get, I will never eat only "egg whites". I need runny yolk + hot sauce to live.
I told Hannah that's not happening as long as she is in school (aka not before I'm 30) and I stand by that.
My knitting projects are limited to silly things like pot holders because my family & I all live in warm climates. :( #firstworldproblems
I guess no amount of coffee, Aleve, or protein bars will cure this headache. Onto the recreational substances!
My phone suggested "Breakfast of Champagne" when I was trying to type "Breakfast of Champions". Now I really want a mimosa.
Never thought I'd say this, but I had amazing customer service from @sprint this week getting my faulty S4 replaced. It was almost too easy.
There must be something wrong with me because I don't like pink Starburst.
When I finally try to do laundry the coin slot on the washing machine is jammed. This must mean I'm destined to be naked all day.
PInot was visibly happy to see our overnight guests leave this morning. The question mark tail means don't come back... bitches.
I'm so excited for #4thofJuly this year! Just think of how much Harry Potter and afternoon tea I can fit into a 3 day weekend. – at Burbank, CA
What if... we didn't have to rely on employers for our own personal healthcare in the first place? Genius! – at Burbank, CA
Chickpeas only have two shape variations: butts & ballsacs. – at Burbank, CA
You know you're poor when Tapatio is your new Cholula. – at Burbank, CA
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