comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below

New York, NY
Joined July 2011
My debut stand-up special BAG OF TRICKS is now available to watch, link in bio. An hour of laughter, tears, and invaluable moral guidance. Give it a watch, give it a like, leave a nice comment, share it with some/all of your friends. A labor of love! I hope you enjoy it.
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Django Gold retweeted
performing in Philly on Saturday, Nov. 7 - come out!
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Django Gold retweeted
RIP weed culture
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RIP weed culture
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Django Gold retweeted
men’s fall wardrobe essentials
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great! hey, real quick, you're not a huge liar by chance are you
5 years from now , you will receive $3050 checks every week from below parties — $500 check from NVDA $1000 from OpenAI $800 from Claude $150 from micron $600 from government That’s well over $12000 a month. Work will be optional.
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men’s fall wardrobe essentials
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I get why guys call their genitals their “junk” — because a foul-smelling liquid seeps out the bottom of it
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Django Gold retweeted
France, this isn’t the answer
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France, this isn’t the answer
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holding my cock by the scruff while I pee like a mama cat with her kitten
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watch it
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taking gambling tips from a guy with an 80 IQ who used to get hit in the head for a living
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fun fact: we possess this same numbers advantage in every American city
⚠️🔴 À REGARDER JUSQU'À LA FIN JE NE PEUX PAS DÉCRIRE CE QUE JE VIENS DE VIVRE À MARSEILLE. #17octobre
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my favorite music video genre is “singer unperturbed by a bunch of kooks passing through”
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Django Gold retweeted
minor autism
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minor autism
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Django Gold retweeted
an AI comedian stole my joke. here's how I got "her" to stop
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hate it when people tell me to “have a good night,” you know I can’t
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