Doak

Went into Target for the first time in years.... The smell made me naseous....

We got pulled over in the self driving Tesla.......

At the Tesla supercharger with all the other fuckin nerds

Kids parties should always an activity for the kids that parents can gamble on

Thinking about the time Brooks told me to check out 461 Ocean Boulevard by Eric Clapton by saying, "It really sounds like dogshit but.... I think you're gonna like it."

I buy most of the other injuries but he is absolutely faking this one for GTA 6

I still haven't spent enough money to scare me into getting a second job. I have to keep going.

My #TrulyInspired flavor profile for tonite was white beans and yellow potatoes tossed with basil/parsley pesto and katsuobushi

Feeling very adult this morning after getting a quote from an arborist for thousands of dollars and thinking, hell that's not bad

I'm available to be on the board of trustees. Any type of organization. I have a lot of ideas.

Remember the most important rule for your Halloween costume: if you have to explain it at all, it's a bad costume. I'm looking out for you.

You know when you're not doing anything and then someone accuses you of doing something and youre like you know what I am gonna just fuckin do that thing if you're accusing me. Anyway I'm gonna do that at work tomorrow.

Texas political ads are insufferable and straight up going to make me kill myself #BloodOnYourHands

The jaylen brown lamb chops with a little gravy line is maybe the lamest line ever, of all time