While I was getting tattooed over the weekend, there was a No Kings protest going by the shop and a Ukrainian artist just sighs and says, “your people need to learn about fire”

I have a torn scapholunate ligament in my dominant hand and my surgeon was like, “…how are you doing literally anything with that shit”

Having an MRI is similar to going through airport security because suddenly I’m irrationally worried I secretly have something I know I don’t, like a gun or a Prince Albert

I always forget that Noah Wyle is in Donnie Darko

Okay so my Eko stethoscope attachment stopped charging and I filled out the little inquiry form on their site to see if they could help me troubleshoot… and they just sent me a brand new attachment, replacing it free of charge?!? Customer for life now omfg

A new research study was just published that showed that physicians swearing increased motivation, confidence, and adherence hahaha I love it. Personally, dropping the occasional swear works wonders for me with patient rapport

Me: do you want me to call cardiology Upper level: no they don’t need to be involved Three hours later Upper level: you need to take initiative, you should have called cardiology I do not understand what the fuck you want from me lmaoooo

Residency be like

The ACGME wants to gut resident work hour restrictions and requirements for program directors for shareholder profit, not for patient safety or resident education. Don’t miss your chance to speak up about this absolute dumb fuckery they’re up to

I would like to formally complain about residents getting threats from administrators because our attendings haven’t attested our notes because why the fuck are you telling me you’re gonna suspend my epic access when I’ve done my fucking work?? Do it!! DO IT!

I was bummed that I wasted my day on the couch absolutely rotting but reminder to self, it would be weird if we weren’t exhausted after working literally twice as much as regular full time employees

Am I a dick if I message someone on another team to tell them their documentation is incorrect

He immediately blocked me like a little bitch but do you people think strokes didn’t exist before vaccines???

My gut told me to assess visual fields in an otherwise very benign exam and I caught a PCA stroke 😳

Med student was humble bragging about how many interviews they’d received in my specialty and it was so off putting lol 😵‍💫

Got billed $650 for a 10 minute telehealth visit 🤠

Unfortunately I now respond with “thanks, I learned that in prison!” to anything I am complimented on my ability to do

A male patient asked me to hold his dick while he used the urinal for the very first time yesterday and all I could think of is how nurses have to deal with this type of creepy shit and worse ALL the time and I’ve been relatively shielded from it. Thankful for yall always 🩷🩷