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duumb

@duumb

has neither been cancelled nor renewed for season 2

teapaw.org/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=from%3Aduumb%2Fexclude%3Areplies&src=typd
Joined April 2017
  • Tweets499
  • Following160
  • Followers3K
58Media
Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)Photo by duumb (@duumb)
[wheel of fortune] me: id like to buy a vowel pat: arent u a millenial me: [sigh] id like to rent a vowel
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[doorbell rings] how could this happen to me
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The commercial was advising those who think they may suffer from depression to seek a doctor’s input. The author thought the commercial was suggesting he find out if his doctor suffered from depression. teapaw.org/duumb/status/901062733…
duumb (@duumb) profile pictureduumb@duumb25 Aug 2017
commercial: 2 out of 3 people suffer from depression. talk to ur doctor today me: [hurriedly phones doctor] hey do u suffer from depression
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[opponent rapping about my mom in rap battle] me: its ok guys my parents are in an open relationship
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[pilot announces crash landing] me: (grabs hand of passenger next to me) do u wanna buy insurance
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u can reply "is this from a simpsons episode" to any tweet. odds are ur probably right
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[sigh] this is way toooo real. Catch more 🔥 tweets on #AM2DM 😂

Millennial problems

It's expensive out here.

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[hires private investigator to find myself]
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[high school reunion] me: u remember me skipping math class to see u ex: aww yeah me: [gets out pile of papers] now do my taxes
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facebook app: white background snapchat app: white background instagram app: white background twitter app: OMG MY EYES TURN ON NIGHT MODE
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[being buried alive] me: que tu cuerpo es pa darle alegria why cosa buena hitman: *throwing mud* me: dale a tu cuerpo alegria, macarena hitman: *stops throwing mud* both: hey macarena
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dont come down here teapaw.org/MotherOfIncest/status/…
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hill
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me: [leans in for kiss] robber: quickly but then money
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commercial: 2 out of 3 people suffer from depression. talk to ur doctor today me: [hurriedly phones doctor] hey do u suffer from depression
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me: [teary eyed] if anything ever happened to you i would kill myself her: ur kinda weird for a surgeon
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the solar eclipse really damaged my eyes cos i had to switch my twitter app from day mode to night mode and then day mode again
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these sunny side up eggs turned out much different from every other time
Image from duumb (@duumb)
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[kidnapper asking for ransom] pay by 6 pm or i start sending u his fingers [gf trying to unlock my phone] can u start with his right thumb
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a man is dying and we waste time pronouncing a five syllable word like defibrillator anyway nurse pass the defibrillator this man is dying
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