Oppa of Korea

A young woman reached out to me for support. As we spoke, she sent me her secondary school results. I noticed that she had several distinctions, and almost immediately, something in me was moved. I thought, This is such a bright young woman. She deserves a chance. I supported her. Much later, I found myself thinking about that interaction again, and I asked myself a question that made me uncomfortable: What if her results had been average? Would I have been equally moved to support her? If the answer is no, what does that say about the way I sometimes determine who is “deserving” of an opportunity? I value excellence deeply. I admire people who work hard and do exceptionally well. I also know that excellent performance at one stage of life is not the only evidence of what a person can become. Some people are average students in secondary school and flourish tremendously at university. Some people struggle academically until they find the environment, field, teacher, support system, or opportunity that allows them to thrive. Some discover their strengths much later. Some people are carrying circumstances we know absolutely nothing about. So I have been thinking about how easily we are drawn to people who already show obvious signs of promise: the excellent grades, the impressive CV, the awards, the achievements. There is something reassuring about helping someone when the evidence already tells us, This person will probably succeed. One of the biases we have to keep examining is the belief that people must already have an impressive record before they deserve someone to take a chance on them. Sometimes people do not excel and then receive opportunities. Sometimes people excel because someone gave them a chance before there was enough evidence that they would. I think there is something powerful about being the person who can sometimes see beyond what someone has already achieved to what they might become if given the opportunity.