Very obviously three kids stacked on top of each other in a trench coat
Nashville, TN
Joined August 2015
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I just got sassed by @sheetz...excuse me while I reevaluate my life teapaw.org/sheetz/status/98086941…
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Hitting my head on a bar and spilling beer all over myself in the name of trying to hit a ping pong ball is my new aesthetic
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New record on the whole “good how are you” back and forth — did that with my Uber six times tonight.
I don’t know who was drunker…and I don’t wanna know either.
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My secret to getting people to leave the bar before last call? Putting on a 30 minute playlist of the saddest pop punk trash I could make up before calling it. Untitled by @KnucklePuckIL is on it three times.
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To celebrate working at a bar now, I’ll be tweeting things that I hear/see out of context from now on:
Some Parent: “I love this shirt!”
Their Kid: “Enough to wear it when you die?”
Parent:
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This tweet is an open invitation to tell me how bad of an idea it would be to quit my job first thing Monday morning
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My toxic trait is accepting any and every airdrop sent by strangers in public
Keep life spicy, y’all
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POV: sitting in a bar trying to explain that one time I watched a thesis on storytelling and scuba diving all presented while the speaker was playing an electric violin.
Kevin, if you see this, everyone in this bar is in love with you.
SU people, if you see this, show Kevin.
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My favorite game is putting “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” on and counting how many mustached guys turn to someone at the bar and say “that key change”
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I’ve spent 20 minutes in New Jersey, got into one and a half screaming matches, and now permanently have high blood pressure. This state is hell.
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It’s true. It’s been years coming.
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