⚡️ “The Haunting Aunt Helene Conspiracy of 2019” I had no idea anyone would be into this prank, so I didn't tweet updates in a thread. But like a true psychopath, I need to have it all in one place so that I can revisit the scene of the crime😈 xitter.cf/i/moments/119151223256…

Excited to see @mariabamfoo tonight! This is my fourth time seeing her. It is unknown how many times she has seen me.

Have never been alive without Dolly Parton, how do we even do this

Unpacking at our new house and found this EHCon bag, not sure if those stains on the bottom left are blood or wine but either way I know I had a good time #WynonnaEarp

Forget the ozone layer now it's a crisis

Roses are red Violets are pedestrian

Just saying the world didn't have half as many problems when they were still making Sharknado movies

Joined Twitter 9 years ago, mostly to shout about #WynonnaEarp, coincidentally 9 is the number of seasons we should have had and probably maybe the number of specials we'll eventually get

Our son has autism and loves to play sports but doesn't understand trash talk, his best attempt by far was yelling "Put on your eyes, ketchup" to an opposing player, which is perfect bc it is probably insulting and definitely confusing, try to focus after hearing that

Obviously the wisest character is a well dressed redhead #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Vice Principal Awards are more lit than I would have imagined #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Were they out of shorter shorts for Tim #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Using the Zambone-me line on my wife, will report back #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Melanie I'd like to talk about the blowhole cam #SummersLastResort #Tubi

A fire caused by balls and a dolphin almost farted to death are storylines that could equally be from #WynonnaEarp or #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Black hair lady giving Mercedes vibes, but I assume she is wearing her own face #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Going to use the scale of "1 to maple syrup" for everything #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Tim Rozon hitting on a lady and then donning a hat, not sure anyone will be into that this is uncharted territory #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Which character has a secret wife, is it Grayson #SummersLastResort #Tubi

Starting #SummersLastResort and within the first 5 mins a beaver got plowed, would recognize Andras writing ANYWHERE