Today a girl gave me her resume for the cafe I manage and I kid you not one of her two educational school achievements was 'best dressed in year 11 and 12 formal' and I'm just really not sure what is going on anymore
[my gf actually turns into a worm]
me: oh my god. it’s ok, i’ll still go out with you
my worm gf: [sees a cool worm wearing a leather jacket] i think we should see other people
I WAS FACETIMING THIS BOY WHILE I WAS AT THE STORE.. I GOT IN LINE TO PAY FOR MY STUFF.. IM LIKE "IMA PUT U IN MY POCKET TIL IM DONE".. HE LIKE OK 🙂.. SOON AS I PUT THE PHONE IN MY POCKET DUDE STARTED SCREAMIN "🗣AHHHHH GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! I CANT BREATHE!!! AHHHHHH!!!"... BRO😂
