ALT I LIKE to think that if the bassist from Black Sabbath had his own sitcom, it would be a Jeeves-and- Wooster-type affair called "Geezer Butler and his Geezer Butler; with Danny Dyer playing the Cockney butler. Do any other readers have a favourite imaginary television show based on the name of a member of a heavy metal band from the West Midlands? Magnus Mbanu, Peterborough

ALT James Brown once sang "Papa's got a brand new bag." However, this isn't as exiting as it seems. My dad bought a new bag for work in the mid-80s because he worked at Ferodo, and his old one stank of brake linings. Being a new father myself, I bought a new bag from Matalan for £5.99 because I accidentally squashed a banana in my old one. Being a father with a new bag isn't the big deal Mr. Brown makes it out to be. Alan Farley, Garn