f cock titzgerald

forever the story that I will use to explain my step mom to people is that she once tried to send back my meal at brunch for being too spicy for her

only been to one Kraken game and have a bad association with the person I went with, would like to change that. plus torrent home opener is so far away. since like half of you are kraken fans I feel like getting a group to a game in the next month would not be difficult??

dinner plans got moved to next week but i’d already thought about what I wanted to eat so now I’m going to go twice in one week I guess

going to be interesting watching this fanbase's reaction to what will likely be our top scorer

why am I following multiple food trucks/restaurants in portland, why am I torturing myself like this

thank you modern social media before you I would never know when someone i’ve never met has a dog that died. every day before the internet I would pray for a way of finding out about more pet deaths because life is too happy and good, now I am free from the tyranny of joy.

someone come take a video of my face when I get off a zoom call, I want to see the smile die as soon as my camera's recording light turns off

love is blind boston just ending with a bunch of misogynist dudes screaming at women for being the victims of douchebag dudes, welcome to beantown

the power is back on and it's more than one spot lol

power outage. tried shaving my balls in the shower with minimal light. went better than expected but missed a spot so it basically has a little mohawk now. will update you if anything else happens to my penis.

never forget how hard these were pushed because what could possibly be worse than being fat

if it didn’t get dark at 5pm then everyone would be able to see this giant salsa stain on my pajamas i’m wearing to walk the dog