fourfaults (Taylor's version) || horse twitter alum
Joined December 2015
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bottlecap for president retweeted
I'm not saying Mark Zuckerberg is a better person, but if you changed your name on Facebook to "Italian Mark Zuckerberg" and posted "I send a the calzone into the metaverse! Ohhhh!" he would never see it, and even if he did, he would not care, and would not do anything about it.
bottlecap for president retweeted
“actually we’ve met before” okay well I don’t remember you. Have you considered being less forgettable and insignificant
bottlecap for president retweeted
queen elizabeth is currently listening to "it's time to go" by taylor swift music.apple.com/gb/album/its…
bottlecap for president retweeted
every errand costs $50 now. they used to cost $20 and then went up a little to like $25 or maybe $40 if it was a fancy errand, but now it’s usually $50 and sometimes $100. what is joe biden plan about my errands
bottlecap for president retweeted
Me explaining military time: So it goes up to 24 and then it starts again from the beginning
Leonardo DiCaprio: Sounds perfect.
bottlecap for president retweeted
what the fuck is a “love language” do u people know any normal behavior that is not a marketing term from a self help book
bottlecap for president retweeted
i think a big reason i really love getting tattoos is because it’s almost like a way of rewriting the body ive hated for so long into my own version of beauty
bottlecap for president retweeted
Comedians: if you’re not offending someone you’re not doing comedy right
Mitch Hedberg: I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographers fault and that’s extra scary to me because there’s a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside
bottlecap for president retweeted
“don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me” - taylor swift
